The Genderpretender & the Handjob

A while back I got my grubby hands on a beautiful Ibis Mojo. My Mojo really opened up my riding and allowed me to get into much more trouble than I had previously been able to on hardtails. Everything just got easy. I became both an Ibis and a carbon fan.

But I still love hardtails. Singlespeed ones especially. The lustiest I’d ever lusted after was Tim ‘Adonis’ Wildman’s Ibis Tranny which he’d won the SS Nats on. When he gave me the whisper that it was looking for a new owner, I sold everything that wasn’t nailed down at Aldred Mansions and grabbed it. After buying the Mojo it was tough to find things that were not nailed down which could be sold. The two highest value items in the house had heartbeats and I didn’t think I could get away with that, but I got there in the end.

The Tranny is Ibis’ hardtail/singlespeed/travel bike. I’ll probably never use the travel bike feature, which is where the back end comes off to enable fitting into a normal suitcase. But the singlespeed functionality I use pretty much all the time. There is a joint acting as a pivot below the seat collar on the seatstay. Then behind the bottom bracket there is a “Slot Machine” which is where the action happens. You loosen one bolt, gently push down on the bike, which extends the chainstays via the Slot Machine. Check chain tension. Tighten bolt. By far the easiest SS tensioning I’ve come across. Totally creak free too and no loosening.



The frame is awesome. Big fat carbon tubes and smooth lines, a lot like the Mojo. It has neat removable cable stops to clean it up when not running gears and the SS dropout (which I am yet to get) has a bottle opener, because we all know from the plethora of bottle openers on SS bikes, that all SS riders take glass beer bottles into the hills and crack them open on their bikes.

I built it up with a shortish stem for an ‘XC’ bike – a 70mm Thomson, and it keeps the steering nice and nippy and is great on the steep stuff. Its got a nice wide Sunline flat bar too. I think hardtails look more business-like with flat bars. Its got some Hope hubs with Flows. People scoffed at my heavy rims, but I wanted bomber strong and uber stiff wheels which could jump and get thrown about a bit. The Flows are not heavy anyway. They just look heavy next to very light Stans rims like Crests and wotnot. I am not even allowed on some of the lad's wheels as I weigh over 80kg. That is just wrong.

She/he has a straight 2:1 gear. Its is sometimes a little tall around Wellington, but making it easier would mean tossing in a man card and I don’t want to do that. So it’s a strong build, not a weight weenie build, although the light frame would certainly enable a low weight build if it was my thing.





I banged some gears on it the other day for the Porirua Grand Traverse and it was the fastest bike I’ve ever raced. Although the only other decent hardtail I’ve raced was a 1999 S-Works, so things have come quite a way! I looked forward to taking the gears off though to reveal its true beauty again. Although no sooner than I did so, Boner Toner whisked it off to Keith Manor, put stripes on it and raced it at the SS Nats in Napier. Tones got a fine 5th place which was fantastic.
Credit - BluedogSS Facebook. Thanks

She/he is a mint ride. Its hard to say if She/he is my favourite over the Mojo. It depends on the day. I love how stiff the Tranny is when giving it the beans. I stamp and she goes and goes.

Is owning two Ibis bikes enough? Haha, I lol at you – of course it is not enough. So what is it I want now? An HD? The new SL-R? Maybe a Hakkaluggi for the Crosstafarian's Wellington CX series?

No. I want Simon Kennett’s early 90’s Ibis steel tandem.

Simon and I ended up on the same initiative/workshop the other day around the relationship between buses and cyclists in Wellington. The wily, wiry fellow bought along an extremely rare Ibis tandem. I made my starting bid at an insulting $500, hoping maybe Simon didn’t actually know anything about bikes. But it turned out that Simon has some knowledge of these maters and he lolled at my offer. By the end of the session I had upped my offer to about $1,500 for this ancient iron horse, but he was still not budging.






If I come into any money I will be straight round to Kennett Mansions with my next offer. I need that bike and it needs a good restoration and Simon is too much of a hippy to do it. He would probably cover it with something sustainable like hemp paste and bits of vegetable.

Just look at the wonderful handjob. Snakes alive – it is too marvellous to even bear witness to without weeping.

After all this lyrical waxing you could be mistaken for thinking I was sponsored by Ibis or something. But alas no. Ibis (and Santa Cruz) bikes are bought into NZ by Mike at Hyperformance Hardware, and he mostly supports athletes rather than Whopper scoffing, chubby weekend warriors. Mike is an excellent ambassador for his brands and has been brilliant at dishing out all the right advice to me on many occasions. Thanks, Mike!

See you on the trails (every few weeks when I get a chance).

Cheers
Dave

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Where are the frickin' keys? : Porirua Grand Traverse 2011

The PGT mtb ride is an awesome, non-technical XC smash from Battle Hill, across Belmont into Porirua. Nowadays most courses have a good amount of technical riding and people pull away and drop back as their technical skills come into play - but the PGT is just a drag race where shanks of steel, massive hearts and lungs like bin bags rule over the ability to pop wheelies.

It clashed with the Super-D on Mount Vic this year which was a real shame. But Tiger, Dave and NCX2 decided to spare the downhillers the competition and race the duathlon. We bought in some excellent ring-ins with the goal of doing well in the Team Duo and the Mixed Team Duo.

We had:

The Elites [NCX2 and Stephen Day]
The Sifters [Tigs and Glen Hughes]
Fatman & Robin [Davo and Jo Doherty]

>> Banter and warm up for 8am start. Plenty of friendly faces.

>> Davo drops chain off line but gets back to the front asap and tells T-Rex to pull his head in and get in behind so Dave can cross stream in lead pulling epic bedroom face, to reinforce to his spectating wife that he is not as washed up as everyone says.


>> Timmo also pulls a face depicting his usual role in the bedroom.


>> Davo quickly gets overtaken by Tim, Clive, Tigs, Nick Waring, Marcel, Trevor, their neighbours, tennis partners, some old people and some cats.

>> Gaps appear and get stretched. Timmo, Clive and Nick control the front.

>> Super loose gravel logging road downhills threaten hardcore skin loss, but take no victims.

>> Dave catches Trevor, Trevor drops Dave.

>> Clive goes wrong way and maintains he now has to ride with 'slower riders' in order to stay on course. Still at front of race though.

>> Nick Waring drops T-Rex and takes the mtb win.

>> Tigs and Marcel, dsitracted by each other's impressive calves and gate jumping skillz, head the wrong way in Bothamly Park to spend 5 minutes alone together.

>> Trevor, closely followed by Dave, steal Tigs and Marcel's positions.

>> Transition - The runners take off across the park and up Colonial Knob.

>> The boys return to the car. One of the runners have the keys. But which one?

>> The boys sift to the Titahi Bay beach to bromance on the sand and cheer on the runners. Stephen comes through first, with Glen hot on his heels. Tigs runs along side "Have you got the car keys?.. Tell me where they are and you can have some water..."




>> Marcel and Tim come past. Clive and Dave cheer and nod respectfully. Tiger drools and jibbers on about what amazing specimens of manhood they both are.

Marcel


Tim


Tony Keith


>> Jo is not far behind and comes through fresh and pissed off for going the wrong way for a few minutes. She looks strong though. And little.


>> Glen pulls Stephen in and holds the lead to the finish. Bushlove Sifters win the duathlon for the seond time, narrowly missing out on their record time.

>> Stephen comes in second. Bushlove Elites are the first losers.

>> Jo holds off Penny from the wife swapping Drew/Stewart A-Team, to take the mixed duathlon win.

>> Good free BBQ and Jo and Davo get massages from Cindy from "Muscles Knead Therapy". Thanks Cindy! Tigs gets pummelled by the "Proactive Physio" dude.



Another awesome day out. We'll definitely be back. The drag race mtb and brutal run are fantastic fixtures on the local calendar. Now will any of us try a kayak to do the full thing next time?

The next outing like this is the Crazyman in May. Not sure about anyone else, But Davo and Jo are back in action with Liam 'Vin Diesel' Drew kayaking, as the fairy tale team, "Beauty & the Beasts".

Regards
Leonidas of Sparta
BLR Press Sec & Manscaper

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White Man Can't Jump

1 second! 1 small but critical second is all that stood between me and the win at the inaugural Mt Victoria Super D. Don’t get me wrong I’m happy with race, but if there is one famous phrase to explain where that second was on the race track: White man can’t jump!

After being drummed up for a few months, Sunday April 3rd rolled around (along with an extra hours sleep) and the first of hopefully many Mt Vic Super D’s was on. As I mentioned Super D takes the nice bits of XC, combines them with the fun of DH and throws up a short but sweet mostly downhill race. Mt Vic is traditionally the home of many XC races including nationals, so instead of burying myself for 2 hours in the Mt Vic pines, a quick 5 min sprint was a nicer way to zoom through the trees. If Makara had a great turnout for its Super D, Mt Vic’s would have to be outstanding for it’s first effort; somewhere around 150 riders!



Onto the race. To say I hadn’t practiced the course that much is an understatement; I had been hammering it all week. After throwing on a brand new Bicycle DH top (complete with Amanda Jenkins name on the back to confuse a few people), off I launched into the track knowing every stone, root and corner that was going to greet me over the next 5mins, but what didn’t help was my lack of affection for the time I would spend in the air on each jump; terrifying for an ex-roadie like me. Even so, they all had to be hit if I was keen on a shot at the win.

The first section was a nice fresh track built just in time for the race with oh yes, a nice decent jump in the middle of it. After scrubbing a bit of speed on the approach I cleaned it smoothly, released my death grip on the bars, rolled the next two bumps, then did what a XC gimp does best; turn my pedals hard! The next section is basically what we use often in XC races, just in the opposite direction. Apart from almost shoulder charging a tree, this went by all smoothly. Next up the Bomb drop which had been causing all sort of talk for the last week on Vorb.

Great pic by Jordan Moss, made my jump look madcore!

Unfortunately after some great track work on this section during the week by the Wellington MTB crew, the quicker line was to just ride around it to set up the next rooty section; if that hot line had been blocked off it would have made for a wilder ride. After a smooth run through the roots and ruts around the Bomb drop section, the middle section beckoned; this where I had to make my time up as it was a solid minute of pedalling much to the DH’ers dislike.

With my heart in my hand and fire spreading in the legs I just buried myself over the knoll, along with a motivational cheer from my friend Adrian who reminded me how much money I was racing for: $500! A quick descent back down the other side followed, including a testing roll-over into the football field and more cheers this time from fellow Bushlovers and the girlfriend. Even though I had only been racing for 3 mins I was absolutely smashed by this stage, but luckily it was completely downhill now.



I can remember many a crash on the water tower track, rain or shine. Not this time, just a clean run including the shortcut to bypass Ricky’s punter long line (he’ll do anything to make a track easier). Straight across the road that on a normal day would involve a bit of car dodging (thanks Marco and his crew for holding the traffic up) and yes, I have seen people play chicken on that corner. Through the rooty hill section and onto the jump that proves I suck at jumps.

Another top pic Jordan, too bad I'm not smooth like Hadley

Not that it was a big jump but rather the speed you could get into it was the scary thing. Hadley showed me how cool it could look whipping it in practice, but I took the XC line strolling around the side (at least I hit it on my race run). After breathing a sigh of relief and negotiating another set of roots it was onto the part where everyone wanted to look their best; past all the spectators down the chute off the road, heading down to the skills field (at full noise to look cool of course). Through the final 100 meters of trees, quick jump/dip into the very bottom field and across the line; 4mins and 26sec of Super D action!

Instead of finding out how I did the organisers were crafty and hid the results from everyone until prize giving. After a clean run down the hill I was hoping for a top 5, but when Marcus (N-Duro races, did the timing) dropped a hint that I did a good ride hopes raised that I did in fact get a top placing. 5 min’s later and I found out that my run was good enough for 2nd place, 8 tenths of a second too slow for the $500 prize! I’m not going to lie, I’m gutted I didn’t quite do it after coming so close, but to beat a rider like Kurt Lancaster down a hill involves a perfect run that also requires jumping better then a punter XC jey boy.

Will the Mt Vic Super D be on next year? I hope! Will I do more Super D races? Of course! Will I do DH races? Um, think I’ll give that a bit more time.
I really have to thank all the crew involved in the 2011 Mt Vic Super D, from what I saw it was a roaring success. The tracks were mint, the weather was spot on, the organisation was second to none and everyone that rode looked to be enjoying themselves.

Time to go buy a jumps video!
(Ricky, you still need to beat me in DH/Super D race)

Credit to the anonymous photographer, great pic's.

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Sisters Are Doing It For Themselves - Revolve XC1

The wonderful Revolve girls, Marjolien and Ashley, held the first round of their three race series today at Makara Peak. It is the second year running for them, and once again heaps of keen Wellington women signed on to experience the fabulous singletracks of the Peak and ogle local 7ft studs, Ranger Steve and John Randal.

Amongst them were Bushlove babes, Belinda and Amie, being eagerly supported by their lucky Spartan men, Jonny and Dave, plus kids, Lucy, Sophie, Ella and George.

First race for Amie and nearly first race for Belinda. Both were very nervous but naturally feeling many times stronger than they had ever previously experienced, due to their natural choices of BLR Power Tunics.



Both Belinda and Amie had gamely entered the Queen of the Mountains class, which required them to do a full tour of the park, climbing Aratihi to the summit before dropping back in via North Face, JFK, Smokin, Swigg and Starfish; all some of the girl's favourite tracks.

The gun (Ashley's devastating Arizona yell) went and they were off, charging (momentarily) up Allington Road to the Rimu trail. After some woots, whistles and shouts of encouragement they disappeared up the road to battle the course while Dave, Waghorn and their offspring returned to the school for some epic basketball, scooter tailwhips and jandal sport.

See Waghorn attempt to get the ball from the hall light fitting with nothing but a regular 'off the shelf' jandal. He took it on his fourth attempt. Excellent work.

The girls returned looking every bit as dirty as Dave and Jonny like to imagine them to be. The tracks had clearly seen a bit of rain the week before. Everyone got into the traditional telling of tales about their race.

Belinda showed us how she rides the downhils:


Everyone had a great time and there were heaps of great spot prizes. The Revolve girls had an inspiring quote to read before the race started which was a really cool idea. Plenty of baking had been done. Most of which got massacred by Waghorn and Davo while the ladies were racing, and they were shooting jandals. They remit their apologies to anyone who failed to get a cookie. They were apparently delicious.

A fantastic effort from Amie, Belinda and all the women out there today. And as ever, a magificent morning's willy-free racing from Revolve.

Next races are 10 April in Wainui, and 1 May at Polhill in the city.

Czech it out: http://revolvetraining.co.nz/involve/womens-mtb-series-2011/


Leonidas of Sparta
Bushlove Press Sec.

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Super D - Best of Both Worlds

Some days you just can’t be bothered going for a ride! Crawling up a hill, sweat running into your eyes and a chain that keeps reminding you it needs some TLC. But on Sunday I still wanted to go for a ride, just without a hill in it. Answer = Makara Peak Super D.

The Super D format of racing is really gathering strength at the moment. It takes the best from DH and XC race formats, combining them in a format where lycra clad riders might have a chance of keeping up with the groms when the track points down. If us sifters in Bushlove can’t actually win a proper DH race (save for the almighty ‘DH God’ Ricky), I think a Super D win will be satisfying enough.

Rocking up at lunchtime after a lazy Sunday morning, it was nice to chat with my fellow XC racers who did the rally in the morning, especially when I haven’t even raised a sweat and they had been through 2hrs of pain riding UP and down tracks around the Peak. After signing on the dotted line and passing over my race fee/ donation to the good folks at Makara Peak Supports Club, it was off to the summit for the afternoons entertainment (damn it, no shuttle).
I must admit I pooh poohed the course a bit during the week, thinking it was too easy and not gravity orientated enough; how wrong I was, it turns out it was the most enjoyable 15mins on a bike!

For those who know the Makara tracks, here is brief rundown of the course:
Zac’s – NorthFace – JFK – Smokin – Ridgeline Ext – BigTomsWheelie – 4wd – Magic Carpet – SkillsArea – Koru – Livewires – FINISH
If there is one stand out feature of these fundraiser events that would have to be the support; from what I could tell there were 50 odd people keen on a smash down the Peak. The choice of course was the best as it brought out everyone, including recreational as well elite riders. After a bit of shooting the breeze at the summit, everyone took their place which included me reluctantly being chased by the dodgy Davo Aldred. After a quick warm up on Zac’s it was into the real part of the descent starting with NF.
Earlier in Jan I treated myself to a nice new SantaCruz Heckler from the good sorts at Bicycle and for the first time I was riding it as fast as I could down NF. After winding through the few preciously placed trees at the top, it was into the many corners that make NF so popular amongst all sorts of riders. The unusually good run of weather had made many of the corners drifty but this didn’t phase the bike sticking to every corner and reacting exactly as told. Much like the famous 80’s Mullet haircut I love to keep the front tires in business while the back end can get carried away with the party; this combo proved perfect in the many hairpins that NF has to offer, sliding the backend Steve Peat styles (I wish).

JFK is a new addition to the Peak, but already it had a nice flow to it, including a few nice big berms. The only problem I had was going around blind corners and continuing to turn long after the corner ran out; led to some close calls with the hillside! Across a 4wd and into Smokin (like NF this track popped up a year ago); similar to JFK, Smokin flows really well with a few trees to mix things up.
With Smokin dusted in about a minute, it was onto Ridgeline Extension with direction from Oli of Roadworks (who had to tell some juniors to move off the track while I zoomed through, cheers mate). More of the same along Ridgeline Ext and Big Toms Wheelie, this leading to a quick sprint along the 4wd and into Magic Carpet where I managed to catch my minute man.
Being on my Heckler with 6 inches of travel to play with, hitting one of the jumps into the skills area was a must; seeing as my skills when it comes to air time are rather lacking, the safer option of the medium drop kept me happy without breaking another bone. With a quick loop of the skills bowl it was onto Koru, which for the first time involved it being ridden in reverse. No I didn’t steam into any trees, but I was by all means making a meal of the easiest track on course, though it sounded like most did.
The last part of the course involved a sprint down Livewires. While a lot of the surrounding tracks have been groomed of late, Livewires still has a good rough element to it, with the odd jump and berm thrown in. With a smooth run and no lie down moments (unlike Davo I hear ;-)), I just cruised onwards to the finish.

Being the first to finish you can never be too sure how you’ll down; you set the time to beat. One thing really struck me about this race, that being just how much you can push yourself on a downhill; only a solid 5 minutes after finishing did I actually get my breath back. After about the first dozen riders crossing the line it was promising to hear I was leading and unlike an XC race which I actually know how I’ve done as I cross the line, I had to wait until the very last rider to see if I had done it. Thankfully about an hour after starting my run it was awesome to hear I won.

So Super D’s, what do I really think? Two things: HEAPS of fun and surely going to be the race of choice for most shortly.
Next on the radar (next weekend in fact) is the Mt Vic Super D on Sunday April 3rd. Like Makara, everyone can enter, even if you don’t have a downhill specific bike. Hop on over to Bicycle.co.nz now and sign up for what will be an awesome day of riding tracks Super D style.

See you all at Mt Vic.

(apoligies for lack of photography, better luck at Mt Vic)

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Karapoti, the swimming race

Well thought it about time I did Poti for fun... Fun you say... how can 50km of hill drills and Bone Jarring Rock Smashing be fun??? let me elaborate little. Karapoti has this infamous ora of being one of New Zealand's longest running and punishing races. You could say a must "Add To Cart". Well that is true in a sense, but stepping back to look at it, fun does not come to mind... 3 seemingly never ending climbs, 4WD track 80% of the way and river crossings to make sure your feet never actually dry out. But this year was to be different with what event organizer Michael Jacques described as "Certainly the worse conditions I have ever seen," WOOT! Recipe for fun = Take any preconception of times and throw that out the window, Any training you have done on the flat smooth stuff "Remove From Cart", pre-laps of previous Poti races (worthless). Now add Rivers running down the trails like the dribbling mess Slacky was at the PNP Champs, Bogs the size of Dave Aldred's Ego, Braaaap! Rock Garden to steam down all bundled together on one of the BEST Full Suspension XC bikes you have ever ridden the Turner Flux. What a Riot!!!!

Short break down of my race: Yawn!!!
The gun went and I managed to smoke the river crossing 3rd out, only to find later if I had Nana stepped it like some...;) I would have got my mug shot in the local rag.



Started off with some Roadie styling leading into the gorge when the fun began, uncontrollable puddle hopping and eye piercing mud flicks. As we started "Warmup Climb" I found myself in the happy position next to fellow Turner Lover John Randal (Sifter) as we climbed tit for tat, heckling one an others "One Yer Right" "Turner coming through". Top of the warm up climb and Angry Clive Bennett was back looking after his fellow zimmer frame riders (Such a gentleman).

By this point I was loving the technical climbs and just working on not dabbing down. The first downhill and I opened up the taps passing a few good roadies to enter the stream at the bottom (that was now more like a river). More climbing was to be had but I still had energy in the tank to enjoy these. ROCK GARDEN ROAAAAR!!!! On Ya Right, Excuse me, Coming through... I let the Turner churn up the Garden and sail down the water soaked rocks like a glider gently lifted by a warm up draft. Next was probably the most un-exciting section of the race the Devils Staircase. Hicking my not so scrawny runners legs up Devils deemed to be a soul destroying walk to the summit, where I was greeted by friendly smiles of the watering hole crew and camera men poised to take the most unflattering photo you will ever see.

Quickly realizing I was not able to clip my shoes back into my pedals I stopped to find one of my cleats had come loose. Stopping for what one of the passing by ridders described as a "Lay down" to tighten up my ever loosening cleats (Glove off, tool out (NOT that tool), tighten cleat, tool away, back on bike). Right, all clipped in and eating up the trail again at a comfortable pace. Only to find 300mtrs down the track I had left my bloody glove behind... Back tracked to happily find it waiting patiently for me and I was off again. Queue a "Good Roadie" Clive Bennett steaming past me as he loooooves the rollers.

Big Ring Boulevard was a hoot! surprisingly tacky with the rain pelting done. I now missed the glasses I decided not to take as the mud rapidly blurred my vision. Imagine flying down a slippery 4WD trail blinking ever half second to clear your eyes, enough to be able to half see the trail ahead... GREAT FUN! then occasionally having to solidly close one of those eyes in a pirate type squint... Not so cool..

Finally arrived at Dopers where I could see Angry Bennett mashing his pedals in a violent roadie attempt to clear the bottom technical/rocky section. Only to dab down long enough for me to catch him. Thankfully for me this was a blessing in disguise as I was getting a little chain noise, enough for Angry to generously throw me his chain oil. Lubed up I watched Angry disappear into the distance never to be seen again. I continued to churned out Dopers happily pulling in a rider or two.

The final decent down Pram track was a blast as this had some what dried out enough to clock a half decent 50ish km/h. Half way down the Gorge I came across Alex Bushlove Bennett, the Bushlove trooper smashing in the 20km loop. He had also taken a leaf out of my book to have a little lye down but did so using his face and knee... Ouch!!! after checking he was head strong and sprite high I left him with a fellow 20km father and his kid (Thanks to that Father and Son combo for getting Alex down the final parts of the gorge). It was off for the last river crossing and a pleasantly welcome sub 3 on a Karapoti course that was the wettest I had ever ridden.


Karapoti, Muddy Noooooo?!?!?!?!?!

Happy to cruise in home only 1 minute behind the Elite Threshold "ET"

Till next year Poti when I'll be back with climbing legs and a hunger for a dry fast track please.

Lataz
Tigs

P.S I also give you the benefits of using a crud catch on your bike V's not. In the photo above, guess who did NOT use a crud catcher???

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Wayne Hiscock & Naked Bike Chicks plus New Blogs!

To compensate for the lack of traffic-worthy content here at the Bushlove Racing Blog, we like to run a Blogroll of our favourite blogs down the right side. You are probably looking at it now. Its mostly locals from Wellington with a good handful of our favourites from friends around the country. It is full of gems and probably the only reason people come back to our ramblings, as they can see all these blogs in the one place.

We recently realised some blogs had slipped our radar and have added them in...


Wayne Hiscock >>> http://www.hiskeysblog.blogspot.com/

Great new blog from Hiskey. After years of top level racing the Hiskinator is still banging away, all be it often in the Mature Man class, and has got his own blog.

His Mum has written a nice synopsis about his biking in the right column and he has a growing stash of race reports. Wayne is one of the nicest guys you will ever meat and we think he is great despite him having handed us all our arses on a platter on the race track.

Emma Johnston >>> http://emmajohnstonxc.blogspot.com/

It seems like everyone knows Emma! Her blog is a great journal of her racing exploits and aspirations. Plenty of interesting well written tales.


Emma studies in Dunedin but spent the summer in Wellington working in the same office as Davo, who offered lots of important hi-tech training advice, like: "Just get a singlespeed", "Only ride offroad" and "Eat moar MacDonald's breakfasts".

Raewyn "Hucker' Morrison >>> http://raewynmorrison.blogspot.com/

Raewyn has a blog of good race reports from her adventures around the country, starting late last year. She is a bit of a rocket and can win XC races AND do this....


Here at Bushlove Mansions, we have a sneaking suspicion that she wears custom short shorts, as there is a lot prime real estate on display in addition to a sneaky little tatoo.


We know what our audience is like and you have probably been disappointed not to have come across the Naked Bike Chicks as promised. Well in the unlikely event that Emma and RaeRae were not enough, we bring you moar MTB Girls.

While googling for the MTB Chicks riding group I came across this little gem. MTB Girls. Was I the last to find this? I hope I am the first to bring it to your attention.

This is the PREMIUM site for late 80's/early 90's ladies dressed in bad team lycra with the zips undone, or just artistically painted.

And they are with bikes, so must be bonafide mountainbikers. Try not to dwell on the proliferation of street bikes suggesting they are models. They are all mtbers and you might well see them should you plot a route to intercept the MTB Chicks, or tag along at the back of a Revolve Ride.



Night follows day.

Sun follows rain.

And who follows naked chicks?

That's right:



John 'Sifter' Randal >>> http://sifter-writes-bikes.blogspot.com/

Great blog, great writing all he time. Awesome epic endurance adventures and moar.

Sifter is AWESOME! We particularly love it when he is sporting his beard. Check out this ANIMAL!!!



Regards

Leonidas Of Sparta.
BLR Press Sec & Body Painter.

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Thoughts on the Christchurch Tragedy

What a nightmare. The shocking events in Christchurch are at the forefront of our hearts and minds. It is the most difficult of times as our friends and fellow Kiwi's in Canterbury deal with the devastation and loss of life. I know those of us with kids have certainly been holding them tighter these last few days.

Our Bushlove email circle was quickly lit up with inquiries as to the safety of Nick & Sarah Kennedy, especially when early reports of the hospital being evac'd were coming out and we were unsure on the reasons (Nick is a doctor). We were very relieved to find they were ok.

I've been struggling with whether light hearted, joke packed blogging is really appropriate at the moment, considering the enormity of the Christchurch tragedy. But I think some more light hearted fare should make an appearance next week. I can't see any harm in a bit of mood lifting for those who choose to look for it.

Its a bit of tough saying that "life goes on". But it does, to varying extents. There is something reassuring about routine. Although it would have been difficult for the players it was still good to see the rugby continuing during the week. The MTB National Champs is in progress in Dunedin too, and I am sure many will have struggled to find motivation for their efforts. I am attending a wedding in Canterbury next weekend and will do my utmost to celebrate with gusto and reduce the length of the long shadow cast by the earthquake. Love and family should be celebrated with vigour.

All our thoughts, best wishes and condolences to all Cantabrians in this most difficult of times. Be good neighbours. Stay strong and hold each other close.

Kia Kaha.




Ps. Don't let the memory fade. Make sure you have a plan for your family and have supplies you might need. You never know what is round the corner. This govt site is good. Read it.

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News just in, someone in Bushlove can still get results

Seeing as the rest of Bushlove are a seemingly big bunch of non result getting nancy boys (cept for Ash, she's so hot she doesn't even need to race), I had to add to my race calender an XC race. Whilst In Nelson for a Dh race on Fringe Hill as part of the Rabobank Direct National series, I decided to do the Xc race.

"Wait whats this you say, a DH. But Ricky, we know you as Bushloves DH god, but we didn't realise that you've gone back to DH"

This is true, Indeed these days I am racing and mechanicing for the Monster Energy Dh Team. And pulling once more the only real results the bushlove gets, with a 1st, 2nd, 3rd and now 4th over the series to date (kinda hoping I don't keep the trend going, I don't want a 5th).

But I digress, back to the XC, Gauranteed a poduim with only 3 vet1's racing, I wasn't worried. I KNEW I was going to suffer. Doing NO Xc training or riding would mean a hard day at the office. Espeshly as Uncle Derek, Jeremy and Mildie meanly made us do 5 laps. The start was awesome and I started with a hiss, but no roar and settled in straight away. And by that I mean I let EVERYONE go ahead of me. Like most of the vet 2 field. Naturally I could of destroyed them with the calves of doom, but I was in a nice mood.........yeah, that was the reason. Into the first dh and Jared (in vet 1) stacked and let me past and I was off. The other chap (who's name I can't remember) past me on the next climb, and I whipped past on the last descent of the lap. I then held a lead on him which let him get to within 50 meteres or so on the climbs.then I'd stretch on the dh's. Mocked a sprint at the end for show in true bushlove fashion.

Then I spectated for the elite race, in the proper fashion, by screaming at as many of the riders as possible. It's really amazing watching a proper race on a multilap course. Where the intensity really shows who is the best rider. As opposed to single lap races where people tend to be closer together and there are no spectators cheering people on constantly. The best riders in multilap races really do stretch out. Dirk was on fire, as Was Uberfreak Anton who caught and passed the 2nd placed elite rider and put time into him. sure he did 1 lap less, but the way he was riding, another lap was well within him, amazing!!!

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This just in: All Blacks Respect the 2XNC

From Angry via Reuters:

Am at concert in martinbourgh
Conrad smith the all black is sitting in front of us with his girlfriend , I just caught him talking on the phone to richie mccaw telling him the the 2xNC was sitting behind him. True.

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Date Night at Aldred Manor & New Years Resolutions

So as another "Date Night" rolled around, Davo worked on his form with the help of his new Christmas Charm - the "Hump-Shoe-Pro". This present was given to him by his Grandmother with a promise he would finally get more shell action than Granddad Aldred ** on viagra watching Margaret Thatcher on Youporn.

.

After a week of "Hump-Shoe-Pro" the results were outstanding. He had progressed to the "Crock-Hump" and solo to boot.
.

New Years Resolutions:
For years I have been listening to people make New Years Resolutions, WHY?!?! I ask you. Do we really need an excuse to start a fresh or kick that fitness regime into gear??? So while on my holiday break I did a small study on some of my Bushlove counter parts and friends.

Davo:
Decided for the New Year he would get fit for the Elite grade of life.
The exercise regime started but I am not sure he will be able to maintain this, for obvious male genitalure reasons.


Angry:
Decided it was time to become a "REAL Boy" and attempt to grow some facial hair. What I find hard to work out is which is the real Muff Tickler under his lip???


Fastest Man:
Went all out to do something different and went and broke his hand just in time for the Nduro Series. I can't elaborate on how he actually did it but was something along the lines of "Rubbing One Out"...? what ever that means.


Al:
Has taken over from Angry with his outlook on riding. If you can't beat them then buy your fitness.

But I fear this is called cheating...?

Kah:
Has decided it is the year of the women, so is selling off his assets for a sex change. We all saw this one coming.
Pic too XXX rated for public viewing but I can say there was much bruising.

Ricky:
Well this one did not surprise me. Ricky's New Years Resolution was to become the oldest BLR Down Hill riding in the world to win the Grom Down Hill at the North Island Champs. Unfortunately he seems to be the only one actively achieving his goals thus far.


If he can stay upright long enough:


Nick K:
Will do his utmost to stay erect through times of hardship, but I do fear that wearing Lycra will hinder his efforts.


Guest Appearance Lynsky:
Will attempt a tan that compliments his Frizby throwing skills. Love those white stubbies.


The lesson here boys and girls. Never get Davo's opinion on dating unless you like humping shoes and when riding always stay erect.

L8rs

**No offense to any elderly people should be taken from this post, except Hundy Clive.

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Musings Of A Man Companion / Hawkes Bay for Angry's B'Day

Multiple National Champion and Birthday Boy takes Wild XC Huck

In only our second ever Guest post, here Tom Lynsky of the epically rambling "Musings Of A Gadabout" blog, waxes on the November trip to Hawkes Bay. Cheers Lyns!

The real Gangsta Nation

I don't remember exactly what I was doing when the call went out. Angry got on the electronic mailer and sent out the memo that he was planning an 'Upcoming Huge Weekend Away'. It had all the usual BLR suspects tagged in the addresses list and a few that were CC'd in – including I, the nominated 'BLR man companion' (whatever the hell that means). It alluded to Angry's Bday and a weekend that promised hours of zimmer-frame rampaging at Eskdale MTB Forest followed closely by a prune-juice chaser and bedtime by 6pm. Naturally I was hesitant.

Sportsman &

Gentleman's Man Companion

My exposure to the BLRT had been fleeting and always in the context of cycling, so this was unfamiliar territory for me. What were these creatures like outside of the whir of freehubs? Why was I being willed into travelling with them to Hawkes Bay? Was I being abducted for BLR 'probe steaming action'? I quickly formulated a plan to take my girlfriend along with me. Not because I thought she would want to come but because she's Serbian and therefore much tougher than me, which would come in handy if Tigs had a few too many and gave me a bit of the glad-eye. In the end, my fears were (largely) unfounded. Tigs did his best to get a leg over but in the end some gentle persuasion sent him toward Davo's open arms. I actually had a whale of a time. There were a few occasions of note.

Mariska in the stratosphere above Pukeora Forest

One night we were dining in a Malaysian restaurant and Davo talked me into having the 'Rad Nar' purely because it had an awesome name. It didn't have an awesome taste. We then noticed a gaggle of older women were louder than us so clearly must've been having a better time. Spurred on by Jonny sporting the 'wagger stagger' things quickly escalated until the sly old birds were positively all over Angry, much to the displeasure of his adoring wife. I also fondly remember the discovery that there were 'mooning virgins' among us. Fancy that, they'd never bared buttocks at a stranger! You might imagine what followed. And lastly, the 'Grab Me Crossling' team cup game. I'm sure this will be documented elsewhere so I'll just quickly set the record straight in pointing out that myself and Tigs won the teams event in a heroic display of lankiness and power. Davo 'Old Hat' Aldred's team was a distant 2nd place, despite what he has been telling everyone at the water cooler.

XC Radness

After all was said and done, it was a classic weekend away. Good times, good people, and more homosexual innuendo than you can shake an uncouth lesbian at. I was chuffed to be a part of it.

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Nice one Lynners!

Leonidas - Press Sec & Media Liason to BLR

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