Date Night at Aldred Manor & New Years Resolutions

So as another "Date Night" rolled around, Davo worked on his form with the help of his new Christmas Charm - the "Hump-Shoe-Pro". This present was given to him by his Grandmother with a promise he would finally get more shell action than Granddad Aldred ** on viagra watching Margaret Thatcher on Youporn.

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After a week of "Hump-Shoe-Pro" the results were outstanding. He had progressed to the "Crock-Hump" and solo to boot.
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New Years Resolutions:
For years I have been listening to people make New Years Resolutions, WHY?!?! I ask you. Do we really need an excuse to start a fresh or kick that fitness regime into gear??? So while on my holiday break I did a small study on some of my Bushlove counter parts and friends.

Davo:
Decided for the New Year he would get fit for the Elite grade of life.
The exercise regime started but I am not sure he will be able to maintain this, for obvious male genitalure reasons.


Angry:
Decided it was time to become a "REAL Boy" and attempt to grow some facial hair. What I find hard to work out is which is the real Muff Tickler under his lip???


Fastest Man:
Went all out to do something different and went and broke his hand just in time for the Nduro Series. I can't elaborate on how he actually did it but was something along the lines of "Rubbing One Out"...? what ever that means.


Al:
Has taken over from Angry with his outlook on riding. If you can't beat them then buy your fitness.

But I fear this is called cheating...?

Kah:
Has decided it is the year of the women, so is selling off his assets for a sex change. We all saw this one coming.
Pic too XXX rated for public viewing but I can say there was much bruising.

Ricky:
Well this one did not surprise me. Ricky's New Years Resolution was to become the oldest BLR Down Hill riding in the world to win the Grom Down Hill at the North Island Champs. Unfortunately he seems to be the only one actively achieving his goals thus far.


If he can stay upright long enough:


Nick K:
Will do his utmost to stay erect through times of hardship, but I do fear that wearing Lycra will hinder his efforts.


Guest Appearance Lynsky:
Will attempt a tan that compliments his Frizby throwing skills. Love those white stubbies.


The lesson here boys and girls. Never get Davo's opinion on dating unless you like humping shoes and when riding always stay erect.

L8rs

**No offense to any elderly people should be taken from this post, except Hundy Clive.

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Musings Of A Man Companion / Hawkes Bay for Angry's B'Day

Multiple National Champion and Birthday Boy takes Wild XC Huck

In only our second ever Guest post, here Tom Lynsky of the epically rambling "Musings Of A Gadabout" blog, waxes on the November trip to Hawkes Bay. Cheers Lyns!

The real Gangsta Nation

I don't remember exactly what I was doing when the call went out. Angry got on the electronic mailer and sent out the memo that he was planning an 'Upcoming Huge Weekend Away'. It had all the usual BLR suspects tagged in the addresses list and a few that were CC'd in – including I, the nominated 'BLR man companion' (whatever the hell that means). It alluded to Angry's Bday and a weekend that promised hours of zimmer-frame rampaging at Eskdale MTB Forest followed closely by a prune-juice chaser and bedtime by 6pm. Naturally I was hesitant.

Sportsman &

Gentleman's Man Companion

My exposure to the BLRT had been fleeting and always in the context of cycling, so this was unfamiliar territory for me. What were these creatures like outside of the whir of freehubs? Why was I being willed into travelling with them to Hawkes Bay? Was I being abducted for BLR 'probe steaming action'? I quickly formulated a plan to take my girlfriend along with me. Not because I thought she would want to come but because she's Serbian and therefore much tougher than me, which would come in handy if Tigs had a few too many and gave me a bit of the glad-eye. In the end, my fears were (largely) unfounded. Tigs did his best to get a leg over but in the end some gentle persuasion sent him toward Davo's open arms. I actually had a whale of a time. There were a few occasions of note.

Mariska in the stratosphere above Pukeora Forest

One night we were dining in a Malaysian restaurant and Davo talked me into having the 'Rad Nar' purely because it had an awesome name. It didn't have an awesome taste. We then noticed a gaggle of older women were louder than us so clearly must've been having a better time. Spurred on by Jonny sporting the 'wagger stagger' things quickly escalated until the sly old birds were positively all over Angry, much to the displeasure of his adoring wife. I also fondly remember the discovery that there were 'mooning virgins' among us. Fancy that, they'd never bared buttocks at a stranger! You might imagine what followed. And lastly, the 'Grab Me Crossling' team cup game. I'm sure this will be documented elsewhere so I'll just quickly set the record straight in pointing out that myself and Tigs won the teams event in a heroic display of lankiness and power. Davo 'Old Hat' Aldred's team was a distant 2nd place, despite what he has been telling everyone at the water cooler.

XC Radness

After all was said and done, it was a classic weekend away. Good times, good people, and more homosexual innuendo than you can shake an uncouth lesbian at. I was chuffed to be a part of it.

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Nice one Lynners!

Leonidas - Press Sec & Media Liason to BLR

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A Typical Evening at Keith Mansions & Other Videos

Evening,

I noticed that only Davo and I, Leonidas Of Sparta (BLR Press Sec), have posted since November so it must be time for some different tales from the Hive. But until that happens:

The producers of Toy Story 3 have included a scene in the film based around a well known event in Keith Mansions where Jacinda lures Tony into a false sense of security by asking him to model for her. Tony jumps camply at the chance and then gets nailed for taking too many leave passes. Ken, sorry, Tony, then goes next door to get a manual off the Butler which contains instructions on how to perform DIY tasks on his own.



In other news, Dave went on a hardcore solo man mission on Sunday and rather than waste time training or riding up hills, he pushed his bike around Karori Woods and tried to ride some of the bits the young people ride, with mixed results.



And why not back up this post with the sensational Rapping Weatherman. Watch for this legend's amazing use of 'end parentheses' and also the props he offers to his co-host, Diane. Smooth.



Imagine for a minute if every morning you woke up, put the TV on and got a weather rap. Every day would be a lottery jackpot.

And here where he makes spectacular reference to his suit's colour. Immaculate.



He's at it again. Not only does he feed Erica more flattery and guarantee himself her office Christmas party attentions, but he manages to bring a whistle into the rap. Flawless.



The Rapping Weatherman: Men want to be him. Women want to be with him.

A lot like "Keg Of Love On Stilts" Oli Brooke-White, but with a mic rather than a Campag corkscrew.

The nice weather just keeps on coming here in WellySparta and we hope it is the same in your little neck of the woods. Plenty of epicness coming up too, including the second round of the N-Duro Summer Series in Vegas and the Wellington MTB Champs, which even has a Super-D component so the skilled can come out and school the bright pink accented XC campers.

Happy trails

Leonidas Of Sparta - The Rapping Ancient Greek Press Sec to BLR.

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Wainuiomata & Mount Lowry Rootfest

Great ride last weekend.

Al, Sam, Dave and Rob met up with Sepp and Aaron who had been ditched by their guide Mr Aero Lyall, as he had to stay home for reasons aptly explained by the presentation's uber-rad sound track.

They rode Beeline and the awesome traverse of Mt Lowry. We even did some radical high speed big air BMX racing...

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Sly Old DH Dawg

Stop the press - Newsflash

Photos have surface proving that our main man Ricky Pinecone has either

1. Won the Nationals downhill round in Tauranga
2. Stepped in to collect something for a friend.

There were mutterings on Failbook that Rickster had been hitting the big jumps too.

Nice one Ricky - Our DH God fo shizzle.

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