Mt Isobel Challenge

After months of inactivity I was in desperate need of a hit out before winter. With not much happening on the mountain bike front I had to widen the search to a bit of multisport. With my bike skills and a love of rainbow thermals it's a natural fit. After all Bushlovers are always keen to try new things although unlike Davo I decided to pick running over nipple clamps and lead acid batteries.

So Mt Isobel challenge it was. Put on by the good folks at Hanmer events it was sure to be good. It involved a short canter up Mt Isobel then a bike to try claw back the inevitable humiliation. The run was only 8.6km so how hard could it be? Looking at the topography bloody hard was the answer as it climbed to 1316m in under 6km. I hadn't touched my running shoes in a year and wasn't even sure they were worn in as I can count the times I've used them on one hand. The bike on the other hand looked a cakewalk with 24km of gravel road with lots of downhill but almost no climbing.

Being well and truly sick of the study I should be doing we busted up to Hanmer after work on Friday to make a weekend of it. Carbo loaded with a few curries then an early night. It can be a little nippy this time of year so I was glad the morning was pretty mild with no frost and not a sign of snow on the mountain. Dropping my bike up to the transition pre race it was pretty windy at Jacks pass but otherwise conditions were ideal.

Lining up on the start line I had no idea how fast to go. I had a few km of road to sort myself out then it was on to the climb proper. This is when the pain began...

At first the track was runnable but as it progressed (and I became more knackered) a quick walk was the best I could manage at times. Some bits were proper steep requiring a little climbing on all fours. Looking at my watch I'd been going 20min and I had never been in such pain. Maybe I'm doing it wrong but I've never been in such a state on a bike. Running is proper hard.

To counter the pain was some fabulous views over the Huranui. As I continued to climb the track changed from native bush to sub alpine tussock to barren scree.

After nearly an hour (or to be precise 56:18) the summit finally came. I was too tired to celebrate it in bushlove fashion. (and wasn't wearing incredibly gay shorts and an action man survival belt)

If I thought running up was hard running down proved to be even worse. Within 10m I'd turned my ankle and soon was suffering from some nasty stitch. In the space of 2km and a drop of nearly 500m I'd managed to fall a number of times and lose over 4 min on the leaders. Downhill runnings a skill I sorely lack.

I was well stoked to reach transition at all. In the time it takes most people to get ready in the morning I was off on my bike. I knew I would have to push hard to save some face so put it in the big ring and got to work. While 24km long the bike was all gravel road with almost no climbing so there was little chance to impress. In the end I reeled in 14 people and put in a semi respectable 5th place for the ride in 1:01:09

So 14th overall and 9th in open men in a time of 2:14:41. Would have been nice to have been able to trim a minute or so off to get up in 5th but my run and in particular the downhill was to big a deficit to recover from. It was really good to give something different a crack rather than the usual xc jeyboi action. While I don't think I'll trade the lycra for rainbow polypros anytime soon you might see me lining up for the occasional race. The St James Challange in particular looks good.

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The Accounts for the year ended 31 March 2011

Accounts for the year ended 31 March 2011

The auditors have been through and are happy to sign the accounts off containing the following result.

Income: Minta
Expenses: Meh
Profit for the year: Winning
Tax: Dodged
Net profit after Tax: Charlie Sheen.

The Team found a great income opportunity in FY11 with the leasing out of Slackmeister to the Monster energy DH Team. In exchange for a paltry $9,990 (excl GST) per event, Monster gets a racer who has extensive palmares including the Masters Games XC and DH titles and performs botty grinders upon request.

Monster also benefit from his exceptional wrenching skills at a gift of a rate of $4,990 (excl GST) per day. Their gain is Wellington’s loss as Slackshanks is the go-to guy for a lot of riders. But screw them, as the yield on our arrangements is gigantic as we only pay Slacky enough to keep him in Family Buckets of the Colonel’s finest and a small selection of the more risqué naturist website subscriptions he holds.

Slackattack did brilliantly in the FY11 racing season and is in line for a portion of the $49,990 (excl GST) performance bonus we wrote into his Monster contracts.
Granted it is a pretty shit and demeaning portion, at a venomously insulting $19.00 (excl GST), but it gets him another bucket and a couple of hours sniffing around the pension-drawing lasses on his favourite sites. But all revenues go into the Team’s bullion dealing account and everyone in the team benefits after Clive has drawn his 70% management fee and the other team members (excl those on Monster secondments) have deducted their various administrative fees to the tune of 29.98%.

Another valuable line of revenue has been in Kah’s product endorsements. We are reaping a splendid $8.75HKD for every frame sold in Australasia.



Via the BLR wholly owned subsidiary, “Nick_K Looks Like Harry Potter NZ Ltd”, a total of $35,350.00 (excl GST) was received from hapless wand-waving look-a-like appearances at children’s parties, themed civil unions and the Armageddon festival in Wellington. All feedback suggests the $353.50 per appearance is cheap considering the incredible likeness and the commitment with which Kennedy does his Quiddich routine and flirts provocatively with any Ron Weasley types attending the event. So a lift to $375 per gig doesn’t seem out of the question.


Harry caught napping whilst eating at a Mexican Potter themed civil union in Feb.
Although too late to include in the FY11 accounts, the Team will also realize considerable revenue from Tony’s appearances as Tony the Tiger at key events like Singlespeed races, team relays and bar mitzvahs.





Kellogg’s are coming to the party with a valuable 199GBP per appearance, which we are taking in multiple sets of $11.99NZD disc brake pads ex CRC so we duck GST on import. Kosher.



Extensive media whoring is adding to the bottom line. Ashley even got on the TV. Wonny Jaghorn and Hundy Bennett made appearances in global publications like the Wellingtonian and Hutt News and Davo found himself on the cover of NZMTBR, although this proved to be an expense due to the bottomless coffee tab provided to Mr Patton in exchange.



The blog is trying to capture as many cool kiwi rider blogs as we can find and this will prove to be a valuable income stream once we start invoicing their owners. We reckon a good completely fair scheme is to charge based on the number of posts they do and will therefore be indicative of their position in the blogroll, driving traffic. So Oli can expect to have his accounts hit hard. Hiskey’s invoice will probably just get lost in number rounding. If we are missing any cool blog, especially from Wellingtonians, please let us know on workbanterATbushloveracing.com.

Cheers
Leonidas - Press Sec.

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The Wainui 6hr Wurldz - Miss it at your peril! - 22nd May

It is just over two weeks till the Wainui 6hr Wurldz race in the minta Wainuiomata Trail Park.

Rise from the couch, cast down your boyish computer game handle thing, log out from the Farcebook, throw back a glass of skim milk, pull on your bonedome and roll out.

Feel the potential in your shanks. Effortlessly stomping the inclines. You are a Trail God! Carve those corners. Fly that drop. The world slows down as you manual long through the puddle.

Endo turn 180 and roll backwards into the garage. Toss helmet across garage. It does a Bond onto the hatstand. Yes, you have a hatstand.

Throw your glory splattered garments into the machine and surf to www.bicycle.co.nz and enter the Wainui 6hr Wurldz. Do it now. The entries close on Thursday 19 May and entries are limited. There are not many left. Last year it sold out. Do it.



Get a buddy and race the duo. Or entice more buddies and race a four buddy posse. Or come and have a go if you think you’re hard enough, and go solo. Eat some nails – go solo singlespeed.



The Wainui 6hr Wurldz has a great vibe and is not to be missed. It’s low cost ($25-35) with loads of spot prizes, including some from local legends Floe and Bicycle. You ride some of the region’s best trails with some great people. There is even a $100 cash prize for best costume. So don’t be shy. Sometimes less is more – last year Lynsky would have won it with his pasty birthday suit.

You might not be used to riding for so long, but fear not. The excellent trails built by the fantastic supporters of the Wainuiomata Trail Park (www.wtp.org.nz) , such as Snail Trail, with its swooping, pumpy, radness and Beeline, with its character building challenges (the significant of which have ‘chicken routes’) will keep you entertained. And a little extra motivation can always be found on course, regardless of your persuasion.





Now you have entered online, boil the jug for a coffee and knock out a few press-ups. Press-ups make all the difference. I can now do ten in a row (on my knees). The best training you can do with two weeks to go is Jedi mind training. Imagine how you are going to feel during the event, imagine the challenges and how you will deal with them. Lots of carefully planned physical training can come undone if the day throws a few challenges your way you were not prepared for. Do a Hendrix; chop the mountain down with the edge of your hand.



See you there Trail Gods!

The Sheriff Of Bushlove County

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Hogsback express

I've been keen to czech out the new Castlehill tracks for sometime but due to the evils of the FRACP have only just got round to it this weekend. For those not in the know the Hogsback track is a brilliant new project by the residents of the tiny town of Castlehill. Over the last year they've built around ten km of track linking the town to Dracophyllum flat then onto the classic Craigieburn loop. This gives the possibility of a 40-50km loop of prime Canterbury's subalpine riding.

Chch was grim and dreary but by the time I had got to the Craigburn valley (via an epic steak and cheese pie in Sheffield) it was a cracking day. Its one of my favourite bits of Canterbury with some great riding, epic vistas and 5 ski fields. If was planning on hanging around I'd love to build a place up there. Due to a lack of time and probably fitness I only had time to squeeze in the Hogback and Dracophyllum flat so will have to leave the full loop for another day. Was great to out on the bike before winter sets in proper.

I won't faff on anymore so here's some pics.

A huge thanks is owed to everyone who's been involved in the project. I think they're created an iconic bit of track which is a real sampler of the best riding Canterbury has to offer. It's got great views, tussock land, beech forest, a bit of climbing, some fun downhills all in a package easily assessable to anyone with a bike and a little fitness.

Link here: http://www.castlehill.net.nz/castlehill/mtb/hogsback_mtb.htm for more information and how to get involved.

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