Slacky's Muddy Bits

I got mud EVERYWHERE at the national champs in Nelson over the weekend. All sorts of places you don't want to tell your mother about. And my buttcrack too!!!

So I packed the Burkes Lovebus up on teh wednesday night and jumped the 2:25am ferry. Squeezing a few hours of sleep on the floor of the mighty Arahura, I then drove thru the Fog to my lil bro's in Renwick. After an hours sleep out the front of his house cos I was too polite to wake the buggar up (I know, slacky polite, it's one of the signs of the coming appocolypse). I then got to meet a nephew I hadn't met yet, lil Curtis. And got to play for w while with my other nephew Conrad. Twas very cool, I then made myself useful and gave my Bro's bike a good service as it was a bit neglected. This was no isue thanks to the Burkes lovebus's Park tool Mechanics bag which was full of fabulous Park Tools (Marleens should send me some swag for the plug).

I then dribbled off to Nelson to check the course out. Upon arriving at the track I spotted Super Dave Wallace coming

in from a lap, he was ever so slightly dirty. And that was AFTER he washed himself in the creek. Noting that it was no longer raining, and still early in teh day I was thinking of putting of riding for the moment. Happily an extra excuse showed up when Derek and Ken, the UCI boys, showed up to walk the track. I ofered to come along, as not only would it let me shake the legs out from the drive, but it let me defer riding until the track was somewhat dryer. (and to spot a few sneaky lines too)

Firday was a much better and drier day, and 2 laps practice went by nice and easily. The track yeilding fantabulous amounts of grip and providing tonnes of enjoyment. However, sadly the evening brought rain. This was bad

The morning brought more rain. This was bad

Now as I only had 1 agressive trail tire in my arsenal, leaving me with a Stans

Raven on the rear I decided to go with the smart choice of a 700x32c Continential Twister cyclocross tire front and rear. This would mean I'd have nigh of 2 inches of mud clearence in the rear stays and skinniest tires (as Ken didn't race) by about an inch. To go with my tires, I decided to Euro up and add knee warmers (c/dale to

match my bike of course), merino armwarmers, vest and a roadie cap under the helmet for the classy CX racer look.

The race started with a hiss and a roar and everyone ripped off up teh road. A small leading bunch was off the front slightly, then me, then the rest. Into the singletrack down the stream and I was held up slightly by someone not overly liking the wetness. Not too worry, it was still early, however it allowed the rest of the gang to close up on me. Luckily I snuck past after the stream DH with a magnificant CX dismount and remount on the wee steep bit that EVERYONE walked/run up (yes thats right, worship me like the modest god I am) and I set about

catching the filthy roadie up ahead. Now at this point I'm unsure if Tones was ahead or behind, my fufu valve was fluttering so the minds a wee bit vague. I caught Al the roadie on a slippery lil uphill pinch which naturally he faffed up. But the sneaky buggar like the sight of my calves so much he hammered stragiht back onto my wheel. I might ahve been struggling at the point a wee bit (ok ok, no might, I was) Tones and Al quickly slipped past, obviously excited about my calves and needing to get to the finish all that much quicker for some alone time in the portaloo's. Kindly I let them go, as I knew their fragile psyches need all the help they could get coming into Karapoti week. As I was gathering my fufu valve together that wee lil punk Anton flew past me like a P addict looking to score, this depressed me, knowing that's he's LESS than half my age and I'm only 31.

I slowly caught Tones up and was on him like poo on a shoe on a hot day. And that was the end of the first wet and very muddy lap. Feeling a bit better, I got into my stride and easily, with my super skinny and grippy CX tires rode up the climbs at the start and gapped Tiger. Saw Cabin coming down teh creek with amighty lead, saw

Jase the Ace behind him, saw the roadie as well, yelled at him. Was quite funny as every lap I saw AL at nearly the same place, just 10 meters further back up the track each time. next few laps was pretty much a blur of mud and rocks, the odd root, some more mud, some passes, some being passed, passing some more, then putting time onto those I'd passed. I think that (outside of CAbin and Jase) in our class everyone was slowing down each lap, I just slowed down a little less than the others. Had 2 big near loses. One on the top 4WD section where I got crap in my eyes at very high speed and rode bronco style in the grass ditch practically blinded all the whilst thinking 'I'm going to eat shit and it's going to hurt'. No idea how I didn't, pure luck most likely.

Then another on the last DH in the S bend and came in well too hot and got all tank slappy all the way thru the corner, mere fluke that it didn't end badly I think. Knew at that start of the last lap that I had a pretty good gap on 4th, and that there was an even bigger gap to 2nd. so I just pretty much tried to consolidate and ride safely. Possbily I rode a bit too safe as Nick Emery closed up a wee bit on me. but 3rd is 3rd and I'm pretty darn stoked even tho I was well spanked by Jase and Cabin. Espeshly after being so sick at the begining of the year and it setting me back so much.

Did the Short course the next day as well. It was much drier than the previous day, tho still lots of slippery around, espeshly as we had to rip thru a creek. I did quite well at this the previous year at Occeanias, but didn't have as much luck this year. Still a butt load of fun tho.

Bring on the Poti