Karapoti - YFY, Woot & Result!!

Poti was finally here, a year of waiting since the last one and this time I trained properly Woot Woo.

So it was the night before Christmas when coach had sent me some pre race instructions, I love not having to think when it comes to these things. No nerves at this stage just clean bike, tune, pack, prepare food and test the lycra out... hmmm silky. Start last meal before bed time, I'm a suckers for fat, creamy chicken, chilli, wine pasta (Home made of course). Slapped some last minute smack talk on Vorb and headed to bed.

Woke with a spring in my step. its Christmas finally! But Santa the bastard didn't leave a present this year, he left pain and suffering!!! Started my pre race morning routine shit, shower, spank, shave the secret S's for pre race weight loss ;)

Into the car and off I went, bike riding inside today to keep it extra clean and shinny. Arrived at the venue only to be told no 2wd vehicles past this point, bugger that I thought "Oh I'm just going to drop some gear off" I said... Yeah Right! Cruised right up to the bridge and parked on the side of the road where there was ample room. Unpacked and began to chat with Angry about how we were both going to smash those slow pros that should have raced age grade like the pre-entry suggestion tells them. Dydimo dipped the bike and headed into the village for a last minute sift.

Right so all I wanted from this race was to join the sub 3hr Karapoti hall of fame. Started my warm up on the wind trainer with differing views of riders by "Damn I should have brought mine", "Hey good idea warming up on the wind trainer", "Cock!", “Tosser” Ah yes stupid you say, but I felt great at the start and shot off like the condom that flew around the room...

A great start for me but I still had in mind to cruised The Gorge, warm up on the Warm Up Climb and then give it stick from there on. Some would like to think I like to come from behind, I say better a pitcher than a catcher ;) My plan worked well, giving me enough energy to get through Deadwood without touching down and pulling Slackboy & Angry Clive in later in the race.

Rock Garden Rock'd!!! WTF is with this walking talk pussy boys? Nailed this from top to bottom and pick up places all the way down. Gave it the hard push up the Devil's Staircase, and then it was mechanical time... I have no idea how this happened but I somehow managed to twist one of my chain links 90% sideways... yes that is sideways the wrong way... Got off and yelled expletives like a 'Mono' chasing his stolen bike down the road. Right! then the SlackGod roared past on his elephant sized wheels crowing like a cock on 'P'. Managed to twist the chain back straight again only loosing maybe 4-5min and away I went. Opened it up along Big Ring Boulevard but nothing was going to bring back the SlackGod, calves of doom and wheels the size of elephants he was gone. Bottom of Dopers and I was on for about a 2hr 55min finish but suffered a little mentally. Digging the heels in to the top I finally started on the downhill finish to home, or so I thought... Does anyone else find The Gorge demoralizing at the end of 45 odd km??? Its flat or fucking downhill for god sacks, it should be easy... Anyway the clock said get your arse into gear Mr or you will be packing another box of tissues for the ride home. Rode like I stole it down the Gorge, along the tarmac and through the river for the last time only to hear "2hrs 58mins 40sec" while exiting the water, FUCK ME!!! time to haul ass... as I rounded the final corner I could hear family and friends SCREAMING Go, Ride Tony, Ride!!! Head down I pinned it across the line to the sound of the commentator which I will never forget "Here comes Tony Keith dipping under the 3 hour mark"

Elated I dropped the bike after crossing the line and proceeded to cramp on both hamstring and quads for the next 5mins. I didn’t care I was there and under 3 hours Woot Woo.

Also really enjoyed the sifting round after the race talking dribble with good mountain biking friends. Well that is until Mono pointed out some dude he thought had a boner in his lycra shorts... Ewwwwwww!

Some Poti suggestion for future first timers:
- Brand new brake pads before you start (Sintered)
- Grippe new tyres (UST or install a Stand Tubeless kit) - A must to run tubeless for Poti, I ran Larsen TT's and would race nothing else to tell the truth
- Liquid, Liquid, Liquid
- Spare tubes x2 at least, with pump & tyre leavers
- Bike tool
- Knads the size of basket balls, carefully tucked to the side of your seat
- A good sense of humour, especially towards your fellow bikers. They are out there suffering the same as you, or is it they are just as stupid as you for doing this?!?!?!?

Cramp you say... Well I'm no expert, actually I don't think there is an expert out there otherwise they would be famous and fucking rich!!! The only prep I can half attribute to keep cramp at bay was. A good distance base before the race (Training), lots of liquid including electrolytes but I don't use them during training, and a good warm up. I did however find it was the river/cold water that brought on the cramp and my mental stubbornness that made it go away (Push through it).

A BIG thanks Lisa Morgan my coach who has been great in coaching me to all of my events this year, but mostly Karapoti's sub 3. It would not have been possible without you. Rockets Bikes & Merida for the race kit & bike, it was great to see more and more Merida’s out there and the bright race kit of Rocket cruising the crowds.

Most of all loads of thanks definitely hast to go Jacinda & Tyler my wife & daughter for their support and love through all my training and races around N.Z, love you both and appreciate everything you do for me.

Next race bring it on!!!