Slacky is feeling much better, and thinks he's good to go. So it's off to Wanga-Vegas, for the NZ Masters games to race against other old decrepid people.
So a few of you sports fans will know that I got ever so slightly sick in the land of Auck.
Possibly because of chicken, we shall never really know. But indications are that I got a bad case of Camplybacta. Nasty nasty stuff, and it meant instead of racing I was at the Er in Botany getting 2 litres of fluids pumped into me via my big fat veins (the Docs love 'em).
So a week later I lined up At the welly round of the NI cup. Not 100% sure I was 100%, but I was gonna giver 'er anyway. After a last minute mission down to Burkes to fit some grippy tires due to the wetness, I lined up at the start. Took off second behind Hiskey, and felt super comfy.
Up the first climb and that UBER burglar Cabin had passed me, and him and Hiskey were taking off. I sat in at a nice quick but comfortable pace. They quickly gapped me, but I sat in 3rd, with Jase the ace and God behind me. Jase passed me up the lead up to the M'carpa Climb with a snide comment from me, cos he was pedalling far too fast. Into the new descent and it was super sketchy, and I lost the front end a bit down the ski slop[e, letting God past, followed him for a while, but I faffed the exit to plimmer park, and he gapped me. I started to realise I wasn't riding at 100% so sat into a comfy rhythm and rode thru it. Came Thru the 1st lap and apparently coach Leese, could see I was not quite there, but I was too stubborn to admit it. Kept riding, cos damn it, I was still 5th, but as the 2nd lap went on I was fading quite dramatically.
Coming up to Alexander Rd, even thru the huge amount of cheering for me, people were saying I looked like shit. I felt even worse. At that point I was hoping 6th place was going to pass me, but Simon Pope was having a picnic or something ( he said mechanical, I think he was just lazy). At the far end of the course I saw one of the most disturbing sights one could ever see, Virgil Reality mooning me. A spotty hairy arse is not what you really want to see when you feel like dying. Thankfully Simon passed me up by the rooty climb and I suffered back to the velodrome to pull out. I refused to use granny gear, but barely made it up the last climb in middle, and made a beeline for the loo's after pulling out, to lose what ever was left in my gut. Lesson learnt was to let yourself fully recover from illness. But to be honest I'd do the same again, and race on my home course, just in case I had gotten over whatever I had. I'm a dumbarse like that.
Rock on Nat Champs and the holy of holy's, Karapoti!!!!
Click for the Garmin GPS stats.... By the time we got off the ridges and back down to civilisation, we were pretty broken, and finished the run over budget, in a time of 3hr 51mins. A very satisfying shakedown of our abilities though. We'll knock it off in under 3hrs 30 next time. View towards Mana from the valley used to gain the Dress Circle The very steep ascent from the Koro Koro Valley to gain the Trig 4wd. Being late for dinner and being a little tired, mean that is the end of the pics.... .jpg)
In sharp contrast to the Herculean efforts of many of the team in their far reaching North Island Cup campaigns, I have only been biking once since the Makara Peak Rally 5 weeks ago. And that one ride was a casual sift with Angry C-Dawg. I have been mostly trail running to build up my strength for first time running the Tararua Mountain Race. This is a 35km run across the Tararua Mountains from the Waiarapa to Otaki Forks. The total ascent is a shanksmashing 2250m and the total descent is even longer. The organisers confidently bill it as the "Hardest mountain run in New Zealand".
First time competitors must run as a team of two. I am running with my main man (and Best Man), Sam "Rammer" Dungey, who is an original Bushlove Racer, from our entry into the Muka Muka Munter as the Bushlove Racing Team back in June '08.
The event is the same day as Karapoti, so spare us a thought as you sip your latte's after the finish, as the very strong winners of the Tararua Race complete in a little under 5 hours. We expect to take wayyyyy over 6 hours. This is a concern as 6 hours is a long time to spend standing up watch TV, let alone running.
As part of the training we gave ourselves a Warrant Of Fitness exam on Sunday, in the form of our new Brokeback Belmont route. This heads from my place at Aotea, nr Porirua, up to the Belmont Hills to meet the dress circle. Then heads south via Cannons Head and Belmont Trig, down to Koro Koro stream and back up to Stratton St via Koro Koro Dam. It then climbs Middle Ridge to re-gain the dress circle and descends the same way we came up. It has many grinding climbs and long descents and was a great outing. The views off the tops were excellent and at times we had mint views each way across to Kapiti and away to the Orongarongas.
We tapped along quite well and gained Belmont Trig in OK time. The descent to Koro stream was steep in places and the fairly poor footing meant we couldn't pull back much time. The climb back out of the valley to meet the 4WD heading down to Stratton St, was steeper than the price of cheese. We cut a Danzig ascent off our original plan and headed up Middle Ridge, which was when our shanks first started to get the good news.
Although its not comparable to the rigours we'll face in the Tararua event, it was a great effort and certainly makes the run sections in the Crazyman and Porirua GT that we'll be doing, seem less daunting.
So there we go, something a little different from the norm'. Thanks for reading. If you are a biker who has never really run before, give it a try. Very rewarding stuff and a totally different way to enjoy the magnificent landscape that surrounds us in Wellington. Or if you don't enjoy the idea of your kneecaps popping off on long steep descents and rolling like saucers down the hill before you, maybe give this hill running a miss.
For funsies here is a little photoset of our Sunday endeavours.jpg)
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Rammer relishes crossing the windy tops.jpg)
Trotting around the Dress Circle.jpg)
More trotting around the tops.jpg)
Rammer motoring up the ridge to Cannon's Head.jpg)
Looking South from Belmont Trig - Our high point. Looking fwd to some descent.jpg)
I make Belmont Trig my bitch.jpg)
Rammer runs for the arches - In his fatigued state he mistook this for a MacDonald's sign and accelerated, rattling off his order to an imaginary drive-through kiosk.jpg)
Seeing as I do it so well. Oh wo is me, been driving for the last 2 days to get to Auckland, its hot, I didn't sleep well last night, I have not pre ridden the course, I left my favourite teddy at home and these nappies are ridding up like nobodies business. Ok now onto reality...
Coach Lisa had me doing warmup intervals on display which felt weird but to tell the truth worked its purpose after the start. I decided on a different tactic for the start of this race and sat about a foot back from the line, this gave me the benefit of a track stand with room to move. The 5 second count down started and I got up on my pins, track stood for the final seconds and then was off... into the first corner I was in 1st place with Hiskey hot on my tail. The only time in my life he would be behind me as meters later he climbed out of the saddle and passed like I was standing still.
Riding through the crowd we entered the bush, me in 3rd place. The sand made it feel like I was ridding on marshmellows, sapping every bit of energy before the first major hill. On I pushed with Clive trailing close enough to touch. I was missing the SlackShanks to chase so I felt a little lost, but you can't rely on the big man all the time. Lap 1 and I was definitely learning as I went, Carpet Drops,Sand Pits and Undulation that seemed to go on longer than Dolly Parton's Cleveage. Beginning of lap 2 and Coach reminded me I was in 3rd place and keep it up (Oh G no preasure or anything). As added motivation I had Jacinda & Tyler (My Wife & Daughter) cheering me on, thanks girls you rock, worked a treat. The heat was now getting to the point that I could feel my skin burning (Yes Mother Outlaw I have sunscreen on!!!!). As Clive said earlier in his blog, we played catch and kiss for most of the way through the second lap, me only getting the better of him because of the long down hill section to the end (Video for the girls to come, Explicit Lycra, Parental Guidance recommended (Rated M).
The 3rd final lap and I felt like I was on a beach with none of the visual benefits... This turned into a hard race, riding most of the final lap solo and bordering on throwing in the towel (Well as close as I am ever going to get to throwing it in). Stoked with my 4th position and even more happy when I found out the podium went up to 5 Woot Wooo.
Next biggie coming up is The Nationals & Karapoti, Big Dawg time.
P.S I am writing this from a lovely little cottage that overlooks Cable Bay in The Bay Of Islands, Pic above.
P.P.S Coach I'll start training again tomorrow :o)
P.P.P.S Sunny Holiday FTW!!!!
I wanted to be near the front for the start of the singletrack to make sure I didn’t get held up by anyone. I got a decent start and led into Sweet & Sour, with Hiskey on my tail and Ricky and Garth close behind (I know it was Garth cos I could hear the bike 20m away). Down Bunny Jugs and out onto Direct Road for the first time. At this point Hiskey slipped past and promptly showed me how to get up a hill. I dropped 15 seconds on him from the bottom of Direct Road to the bottom of Hot Cross. I kept him in sight through Dragon’s and Mad If U Don’t before slipping back past heading into Ball & Chain. At the start of the second lap we had a quick look around and a bit of a gasbag on the 4wd to the singletrack. We decided we’d put a wee gap on and to sit tight.
I decided that to contribute to this cycling-related blog I will go and actually ride a bike. So I saddled up to go on perve fashion ride in search of bikini-clad lovelies who are dehydrated and drunk after shopping and spending time baking in the sun.
So I slathered myself in coconut oil (no cancer fear mongering sunscreen pusher is going to con me),
picked my white Wheelworks kit to go with my white fashion bike - ruing lack of matching team shorts. A quick check to make sure my colour-matching cycling cap (I decided my recently polished helmet might be too *ahem* shiny) was set at a jaunty angle I went round the bays in saunter-y pace.
I was looking forward to Island Bay, Lyall Bay and that one long beach just before Brenda's Pass for some good bikinis. The usual spots had some good bikini spotting, but one particular alcove after the late Chocolate Fish had some particularly fine skimpily-clad lovelies. They were well-balanced, full-bodied (in the right places), with aromatic fruity undertones, and a delight to on the tongue. I counted 4, but one on second (and third) inspection was a little too chubby for my liking.
After the requisite lap and rubber-necking I carried on towards my destination of Oriental Bay. Now, I've been riding for about 40 minutes, but no cyclist going the other way had returned my jovial wave. I finally figured out it was because they were too busy giving longing looks at my hairy gams. These cyclists have resigned themselves that they will no longer match my coconut-scented masculine musk after relinquishing their manliness for the sake of fitting in.
When I arrived at Oriental Bay the bikinis demanded that I stay for a little longer - ice cream was the perfect excuse. The vision of this lanky Adonis with the white lycra clearly defining his muscles approaching the ice cream was too much for some. But the ice cream deserved all the gentle sensitivity, firm pressure and little nibbles I was enjoying.
After my manly eating and exuding pheromones from my sweaty perineum that had been rubbed repeatedly on my saddle it was time to leave the bikini lovelies and head home. Once home the white bike looked a little worn out from the exuberant activity, so with some frotting I produced my organic bike wax and lube and gave the bike a once over.
(cross-post from ohsaycanyousee)
It had been a few days since my last ride and I was beginning to get a bit antsy. Various things had conspired against me including the weather. It seems that something closely resembling winter has arrived to my sunny California. There were various reports of rain (3rd time in 2 months, yeh!) so I'd done some prep at the local REI, no rain was going to stop me. And it turns out it was also quite cold... mid-week, raining and cold, the perfect conditions to bag some forbidden trails.
So I rugged up and headed out into the drizzle - 6 layers including 2 jackets, fancy gloves, gimpy under-helmet cap, etc. As I rode the rain stopped and things started to clear. There were some fuzzy clouds shrouding the hills that looked a bit dubious. I climbed Alpine Rd and the cloud cleared enough to reveal a dusting of snow, fun! I started near sea level and at about 400m I hit the dirt and the first snow, still very wet dripping from the trees etc. I was horrified to see two bike tracks ahead of me! They looked quite fresh so I upped the pace a bit and caught them just as the snow started to become thick on the trail. Yeah now I was bagging fresh snow. There were heaps of bobcat tracks and eventually I spotted one making a hasty exit into the forest.
At the top (about 700m) there are no trees so there was plenty of snow, I guess about 6 inches via my primitive measuring stick. Conditions were primo with the snow squeaking and plenty of traction, straight line climbing and descending was good although any speedy turn sharper than about 90 degrees seemed to require falling off...
I started the main descent back to home which is about 10km downhill. The beginning is sweet single track but I had to do lots of crashing through low hanging foliage loaded with snow. This filled me up with snow in every possible place and I had to stop before the really fast section to clear out helmet vents, gloves, collar etc.
A fun ride but took a while to thaw out. Yay for a hot shower and coffee.
This is where you will find the bikes of Bushlove and reviews/banter about other gear, bikes, hair removal products, food and if there is a demand - marital aids. It will be linked off the top linkbar.
All reviews are totally impartial except for reviews of gear we might have been given for free or cheap, in which case there is a fair chance we might have to lie about it. Or maybe not. It will be hard to tell.
Please feel free to add your comments or simply slag off the author of any review in the comments field.
Wanting to exceed at XC racing I knew what must be done. So a quick flick through the flybuys website (Grooming - Women’s) revealed the Remington Smooth and Silky EP3000, a steal at only 330 points. I typed in my card and waited for my voucher to arrive.
A few days later I excitedly ran down to Noel Leemings as fast as my stumpy legs would go to pick it up. First impressions were that it was a solidly built device, pink (but a nice shade) and fits nicely in the palm of my hand. To address the manliness of the device I found a Burkes sticker to give it a more ghetto feel.
The device has 3 settings, level 1 for fine hair, level 2 for tougher hair and off for when the pain of the 15 tweezers gets too much. However pain levels are kept low thanks to the unique massage fingers on the device. I knew I was in for a treat and was ready to say goodbye to blunt shavers and pocket the cash from all the wax sessions.
Seeing as I like to service all my own XC gear (or attempt to) I inspected device to see how it works. Its basically a bent axle with little metal tweezers than spins causing them to open, grab hair, close and rip those suckers out.
Level 1 sounded all a bit woosey so mainged up and told the epilator operator (BLB) to go straight to level 2 on the back cloak.
The pain was....unpleasant... Imagine having a little oak tree set root on your back, then pulling it out with pliers. There where a few pinpricks of blood, but dont let that put you off. The results are excellent and I don’t expect to be re-epilator’d for a few weeks so no more scaring young children on the beach with my yeti back. The longer hairs do take a few go overs, we found a rotating motion to be best with only gentle pressure being applied.
What you need.
The Remington Smooth and Silky EP3000 Epilator gets a Bush lovers 8/10, would have scored a 9 if the grip was carbon.
Bushlovers… Not ghey at all…
I'm here for a good time, not a long time.
After contributing to Bushies' ridiculously large medal and trophy haul for the PNP XC Series, I had only two rides left before I code switched to running for the rest of the summer. Bush running of course.
I rode Taupo as a relay man with a work team which was a whole lot of fun. I rode the whole thing with my team mates and finished in a slick 6hrs 15. Judging by Clive and Tony's times I could have done about 3hr 30, but I won't go on about it. No offence chaps.
I had not been on the MTB since the last PNP so gave it a clean to remove the two week old energydrink surgary drool that was covering it's handlebars and top tube. This proved to be a scholl-boy error as a clean and unridden since, machine will jinx your race. And sure it did jinx me, as I proceeded to not win the Open Class. I had a fantastic day out though. Bushlove was strongly represented across the events and once again we showered ourselves with glory - or at least Ricky and Slacky did. The Vets win by Tiger and Bennett might have been tarnished by their 6th overall and only qualifying for Vets by about 4 months. Allegedly.
Fortunately the only pic of me at the rally is the one above. Which is good as it is a fine excuse to post it. Holy cow - I look like such a sex machine in my shearer/Village People race kit.
Big ups to Shane and Lisa who htfu and rode Open in the Tour. Good job!
I've been sluggishly getting back into running and have work to do before I am ready for events like the Tararua Mountain Race, the Crazyman and the Porirua Grand Traverse. I'm also entering three of the long course Scorching Bay Duathlons this summer. Really looking forward to it.
Happy trails dudes!
And now for those hot lyrics - Oh yeah - Vanilla FTW!
Yo VIP let's kick it Ice ice baby (x2)
All right stop collaborate and listen
Ice is back with my brand new invention
Something grabs a hold of me tightly
Flow like a harpoon daily and nightly
Will it ever stop yo I don't know
Turn off the lights and I'll glow
To the extreme I rock a mic like a vandal
Light up a stage and wax a chump like a candle
Dance go rush to the speaker that booms
I'm killing your brain like a poisonous mushroom
Deadly when I play a dope melody
Anything less than the best is a felony
Love it or leave it you better gain weight
You better hit bull's eye the kid don't play
If there was a problem yo I'll solve it Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it
CHORUS Ice ice baby vanillla (x4)
Now that the party is jumping
With the bass kicked in and the vegas are pumpin'
Quick to the point to the point no faking
I'm cooking MC's like a pound of bacon
Burning them if you ain't quick and nimble
I go crazy when I hear a cymbal
And a hi-hat with a souped up tempo
I'm on a roll and it's time to go solo
Rollin' in my 5.0 With my rag-top down so my hair can blow
The girlies on standby waving just to say hi
Did you stop no I just drove by
Kept on pursuing to the next stop
I busted a left and I'm heading to the next block
The block was dead Yo so I continued to A1A Beachfront Avenue
Girls were hot wearing less than bikinis
Rockman lovers driving Lamborghinis
Jealous 'cause I'm out getting mine
Shay with a guage and Vanilla with a nine
Reading for the chumps on the wall
The chumps acting ill because they're so full of eight balls
Gunshots rang out like a bell I grabbed my nine all I heard were shells
Falling on the concrete real fast
Jumped in my car slammed on the gas
Bumper to bumper the avenue's packed
I'm trying to get away before the jackers jack
Police on the scene you know what I mean
They passed me up confronted all the dope fiends
If there was a problem yo I'll solve it Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it
REPEAT CHORUS
Take heed 'cause I'm a lyrical poet
Miami's on the scene just in case you didn't know it
My town that created all the bass sound
Enough to shake and kick holes in the ground
'Cause my style's like a chemical spill
Feasible rhymes that you can vision and feel
Conducted and formed
This is a hell of a concept
We make it hype and you want to step with this
Shay plays on the fade slice like a ninja
Cut like a razor blade so fast other DJs say damn
If my rhyme was a drug I'd sell it by the gram
Keep my composure when it's time to get loose
Magnetized by the mic while I kick my juice
If there was a problem yo I'll solve it Check out the hook while Shay revolves it Ice ice baby vanilla Ice ice baby (oh-oh) vanilla Ice ice baby vanilla Ice ice baby vanilla ice Yo man let's get out of here Word to your mother Ice ice baby too cold Ice ice baby too cold too cold (x2) Ice ice baby
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