Missing a Gear? Sorry None Spare!
>> Thursday, April 30, 2009
This is a Story of how a young Bushlover hero-worshipped an elder Bushlover. The story starts many years ago when the Ghetto Master was easing off the peak of his DH prowess and Young Jacko was a mere gromm awed by the legend. The ghetto master took Young Jacko under his wing lent the gromm some of his wisdom and skills.
Fast forward 5 or so years and the ghetto master was now a XC jeyboi with new bikes and new parts on them. And still young Jacko worships him. He follows the career path of the great one into cycle couriering. But never fear fellow Bushlove followers, for our young Jacko is no sheep. His heart still beats his own drum, and his path led him toward a worthy steed and discipline. Young Jacko knew that he couldn't get the hang of gears, so he eschewed them and became a singlespeeder. Rumour had it for a while that Davo sheepshanks was mentoring the boy and leading him towards the SS side, but the emergence of young Jacko's shrine to the Slackone put paid to that.
As most of you are all aware, this year Jacko became the Hardest Bushlover, not cos he stole Angry Clive's Viagra stash, but cos he is now the NZ 24hr SS champ. Yet it was not without trepidation that Young Jacko came to rotorua to race the Rest of the World Singlespeed champs. For he knew that his hero, the great Slack one, would be there also. He knew that even tho the SlackOne had not been riding much since Karapoti, that he would need all his skill and all his reserves of energy to even come close to him.
The Great one Writes: Despite not being a SSér I was really looking forward to this race. In fact I haven't even ridden a SS bike since last years race. But in 18-19 years of racing, this is the funnest race ever, so I had to come back. I hadn't been riding much over the last month and half, instead doing more digging of trails, For to love the bush, is the Bushlove way. But as I walked my way up the road to the start I was motivated. For Ashley had brought some eye candy for the weekend in her older sister or something. Running is not my strong point, but that's how the race started, and after I found my bike everyone took off up the road. Flew past Jacko on his undergeared small wheeled bike, then slowed down cos I felt sorry for him.
That was pretty much the story of the race really. Was impressed at BGA for going as strong as he did considering he was feeling quite poorly. I gotta say the beer shortcuts are pure genius. Best race idea EVA!!!. The course was far better than last years, and heaps of fun. Still damn hardwork, and I missed my gears an awful lot. Quite often during the race I would help Jacko's confidence by letting him get small gaps on me and ride in front. The kid obviously still hero worships me, which is cute, but gets a bit old.
I got bored of this and took off on the 3rd lap and put some time into him. This may or may not have been cos Anika was catching up. So I hammered down, but didn't take the short cut of the 3rd lap cos I knew that I couldn't eat the weetbix due to the whole starch thing. Graciously I took the longer route letting Anika and Jacko past. Got back onto Jacko, and let him lead into Pondy. Knowing that I would be faster than him down the down bits, I let him gap me a bit on the climb, there was no point hurting myself to keep up just to get stuck behind him. He tried to let me past once into Roller coaster, but I knew there was no point in there. Out onto the road and I let my bigger gear pull a gap out. I pulled out a wee lead on Jacko till half way thru Old chevy, when his desire to be near me overcame his tiredness and he caught back up and stuck onto my wheel.
Coming into the last shortcut and I knew with Jacko's experience in deepthroat and resulting lack of a gag reflex he'd be able to scarf a weetbix pretty quickly, so I drank the beer as quick as I could. Which was not overly fast as I prefer to savour my beverage's. I could see him getting everything down pretty quick, so using my sneaky racecraft I made my way to the empties bag aligning my bike so that Jacko was trapped in. Mwahahaha. Thus creating an advantage I knew I could hold due to my larger gear and faster spin and general allaround awesomeness. And I crossed the line 1 spot up on Jacko. 3rd bushlover across the line after Dr Nick and Dave Kabush.
Young Jacko has been unreachable for his race report as not only is his mum not in teh country to make his food and clean his clothes, and he's just downright inconsolable with the loss to the Great One. Apparently he thought that he'd be able to beat his hero in an event style that his hero doesn't ride often at all, and that he does. In fact he feels so bad that he's leaving the country this Sunday and will be attempting to make his mark upon Canada. He doesn't seem to get that it's socially unacceptable to pee on trees to mark his territory, the poor chap.
12 Comments & cheeky remarks:
Slacky you are so dreamy and god like. I wish I could get as close to you as the dreamy wee Jacko does.
That really is an amazing race report and shows how great you are.
Maybe if you stop using your dreamy shanks for riding for another few months and I miracally get faster I might get close to this dreamy god
Great report - very inspirational and Whacko should be greatful to be in the same company, on the same trail and time zone as the Slackgod of thunder. He will learn of the force of the thunder shanks, but only after many beatings and humiliation by his elders like the MASTER Slackgod.
I was track building so missed it -definitely there next year. Gotta get a 29r too so at least I can pretend to be like you Slackgod. Look forward to the Moonride report - will BLRT get their shanks on the podium? Day dreamer that would be heaven for you....
I am in heaven being in the same country as the Bush Love Racing team. I just wish I could be at the moonride to see them (and touch them if I was lucky).
Wow. They are all so dreamy and will be especially dreamy when they get on the podium at the moonride
That's a classic write-up, Ricky! Hilarious! :D
Poor misguide Jacko idolizing you slacky, the boy clearly has issues.
Damn, could your ego get any bigger?
Good read tho.
Noice write up Slacky. I, like Whacko and DD idolize your shanks of power, looking forward to the group shower before Whacko's leaving drinks ;)
Sounded like a mint event, one to put on the calendar for next year.
See you all Sat night.
Best post ever. I laughed out loud (old school longhand) all the way though. Excellent stuff.
The Master(bater) and the Apprentice. A classic tale.
We're frickin lucky to have day dreamer. He/She lends us a certain credibility as we have a legit fan.
The only thing funnier than your post Ricky, was misreading Nick's comment: "Poor misguide Jacko idolizing you slacky, the boy clearly has issues." I thought for a moment he wrote "tissues"... :D
What do you mean you are lucky to have me? I am so lucky to have you dreamy guys (And Ash)
Who else would I look up to at local bike races? Who else would I have to dream of?
Your Husband or Partner?
But my 'husband or partner' isn't a mountain biking, bush loving god (or goddess)
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