How I Won The SS 24hr Championships

Yo! Jack 'Whacko' Whattam here. I thought it was about time I did another post, and what better occasion than to tell you all about what it took to win my recent SS 24hr NZ Championship.

When I'm not crashing into cars or eyeing up milf on the train, I'm building up my PMA. That's right losers, the difference between me and you is a Positive Mental Attitude. It is just not enough to have shanks like a race horse (which I do) or a butt so tight you could bounce a coin of it (like mine), you need to be able to visualise yourself on the track, having a good time, lap after lap. When the demons descend during the night and weaker riders are pulling the pin and taking naps, I like to imagine I am riding on a tropical beach, drinking pina-coladas, being chased by local island girls while I rapidly deliver some outsize parcels to difficult commercial addresses.


I am blessed with great technical ability, which is important as in a 24hr race there is no room for error when you get tired. Although it looks a lot like I am piloting a wheelchair down the stairs when I ride singletrack, I am actually trying purposely to make each metre of trail more difficult because there are very few trails that challenge me. Sometimes when a trail is simply too easy for me, I like to pull a fast wheelie and flip the bike landing on my back clipped to the pedals. I like to call this the Whacko-Stacko.

Don't try a 24hour solo without getting your wardrobe dialled. It is hard to win without a pair of really high socks. I like to buy tights and cut them short. They just don't make sport socks high enough for me. Also helps to wear a small cap with your event printed underneath the peak. This way when you get pretty tired you can remind yourself what class you are in. And don't forget to write L & R on the appropriate shoes.

I really enjoyed my first 24hr Solo and you can too if you follow the above simple rules. Training is overrated so don't bother. I didn't train for the solo I didn't have time, what with work and stuff. I had to get by on a weekly ration of a mere 350-400kms on a fixed gear bike with bars so short I have to put one hand on top of the other. Perfect for doing Whacko-Stacko's in the traffic.

So now you see it is easy to do well in thee events as long as you follow a few simple rules and try and be more like me.

Till next time sportsfans.

Whacko Jacko - Endurance Monkey.

* ps - I might have had some assistance writing this post