The Perfect Sift

Wonny Jaghorn, Rammer, Elite Tony, Hundy Bennett, Lynsky, Davo, and a token asian had a drizzly rendezvous at the Wainui hill car park at 7am this morning. And after calling each other ballbags, nutsacks and other misc mocking, they headed down Beeline.

Now acclimatised with a fresh coating of trail all over our legs, backs, faces and horses, they sifted gently along to the mighty rollercoaster to remind ourselves just how awful the PNP XC start up it is. Then we slid into the Towai Traverse to admire the hard labours and handiwork of the Wainui Trail Project. Its a great trail. We thought the tight twisty character was great. And there is an inspired little bit where you can hop up a large root step or go around the tree on a track formed using a big lateral root. You'll know it when you see it. Minty. It had plenty of roots and stones which hopefully can be left in for a natural surface if it wears well enough.

Tigs dabbed his feet a few times because he spends too much time on the rod. Sorry, the road. Dave slipped past him every time as he doesn't distill his masculinity with frequent tarmac outings. Although in Tigs defense, he does race the road in mtb shoes and a peaked helmet to annoy the roadies in Scratch/A Grade.

We had to make a few pauses for banter and to wait for Rammer and Kah, who judging by the yelps of both pain and satisfaction coming from the bush, were working through some dry entries. After some entertaining gossiping along the singletrack line, we whipped down Labyrinth. It is a cracking trail in its downward guise and you can really load up the pace until you pinball between a couple of trees and take yourself out - Good job Bony Tony.

Another Beeline and everyone was well into the flow of the day and really sank their teeth into it. Great traction for such a wet day. The climb up Jungles was fast. Tones on the front. Clive reckoned he was sifting, but Tones maintained he wasn't. But Davo hung on grimly to the wheels, so it can't have been that quick.

Tony used to attend an elite school for young gifted athletes in his youth. We'll call it the ESGA. In that school was the top Elite class. In the class there was some separation to four groups. And within the most Elite group in the most Elite class in the ESGA was a secret Elite society of the most Elite athletes ever seen. Tony was the captain of that group. We can't see Tones doing well in M1 this year though.

While Dave hung on for Jungles, he got dispatched up Labyrinth along with everyone else struggling to sift while Elite Tones and Hundy Clive rode race pace + up the hill.

The rain was still holding off and after a little more jawboning, the intrepid adventurers hurled their sodden selves down 491. A little slippy across the roots and Dave took a spill, knocking the same arm as Tiger did on Labyrinth. Now they will have to do some sort of Dutch Rudder work around for their Subway lunch meets. A few dry-entry yelps heralded the arrival of Rammer and Kah and the gang sifted on throgh to the family loop.

While waiting for Sam and Kah in the waste ground (they had actually gone the right way) Dave fixed a flat (slowly) while Tony offered pineapple lumps around. Davo had his muddy hands full with the fix so Tony offered to push one into his mouth. Tones was also kind enough to offer him a pineapple lump... Wonny Jaghorn serenaded the chaps with some didgeridoo on his handlebar and then everyone sifted back up to the car park. On the way the Lynskinator proved his metal with some aggressive passing and dropping the hammer to move away. The gents let him go. He needs a win. Have you seen his clothes? He looks better without them anyway. Phwoooooaaarrrrrrrr!!!!

The heavens opened as the men were packing the cars and it was off to Macdonalds just in time for last orders on the breakfast hungerbusters. More banter, cheap laughs and a thoroughly soiled imitation leather couch, then home.

There nothing quite so magnificent as getting out on the trails with your mates.