Karapoti - Bushlove's Epic Akatawara Antics

Hot on the heels of the National Champs was the 25th edition of New Zealand’s most famous race - The Karapoti. Bushlove had a keen squad of mostly old people in the main 50km race and young-gun Alex Bennett in the Kid's Race. A full cheering squad of smokescreens was in attendance, with Mrs Mono, Mrs Potter, a heavily pregnant (due on the day) Mrs Tiger, the Bennett whanau and The Mailman.

Executive Summary for those who care little for our indulgent blog posts:

Bushlove takes Team award.
Goldie – 6th Overall – 2hr31
Mono – 7th Overall – 2hr32
Harry Potter – 8th Overall – 2hr33
Tiger – M1 3rd – 2hr37
Angry – M2 3rd – 2hr45
Slacky – 2hr48
Waghorn – 2hr55
Davo – 1st Retro – 2hr56

Even with a good smattering of epic spills all the boys gave a good account of themselves, with top dogs getting so close to the 20’s.

Congrats to all the racers who braved the course and thanks to all the marshals. If there is nothing on TV and the other websites are broken, feel free to continue through these silly reports:


Mailman The Spectator

After my epic rib-breaking freeride rampage, I was benched for Karapoti this year. But all was not lost, I got to partake in some proelite spectating with the Bushlove smokescreens. My day included providing last minute motivational advice (aka abuse as riders crossed the river and heading up the road to the Karapoti gorge), protecting smokescreens from feral coffee cart ladies (Mrs Potter would have been attacked by the Wicked Witch of the coffee cart if I didn't step in), helping plan the future careers of junior cyclists (after Alex Bennett's storming race debut - Well done Angry Junior!) and partaking in a bit of proelite eating (hot chips, donuts and all the Nature Valley muesli bars I could get my hands on - yummy!).
While I have enjoyed watching and supporting at the Karapoti this year, I really do prefer a bit of freeride rampage. Can't wait to get back on the bike, because if I don't I'm on my way to being the Bushlove BMI champ (mmm where did I put that icecream...).

Nick goes pro

Karapoti was to be my first ever PRO ELITE race and I was more than a little nervous. Lining up with the big guns of NZ mountain biking I felt like a fraud, after all I didn’t have the shop kit, sponsors, coach, NZ bike licence, goals (wtf are they?), training program, placebo pants, spare time or carbon fibre wunderbike. Befitting my completely unpro status my race was full of PRO ELITE fails but I still managed to pull off a cracking result of 8th overall, 7th in Pro elite. They even gave me prize money to buy a pro-size Snickers milkshake at Fidels. Just sifting pro elite stylz ftw.

I won’t bore you with all the details so I’ll just give you my highlights:

*Lining up in the river for the gun. So pointless, but so Karapoti classic.
*Steaming up the gorge in the chasing pack.
*Not getting dropped OTA on the first climb as expected.
*Uphill RAMPAGE on the Devils Staircase. (Being completely non pro I’m very used to walking)
*Getting to follow Mono for parts of the race. Even my Mrs was checking him out after the race. Fair enough.
*Bushlove man-train of Goldie, Mono and Myself steaming down Bigring to Dopers. I can only imagine it was like an Il Treno Delore ride except we all had clothes on and there wasn’t a bar of soap in sight.
*Having an epic high speed spill on Dopers bending my bars around and ripping some chunks of skin off my legs and shoulders (actually in retrospect not such a highlight) *The support of the BLR babes (and babe for the day - BGA) at the finish.

Pretty happy with a 2:33.23 in proper Karapoti conditions. With such a PRO ELITE result surely now I’ll be beating off the sponsors. (All enquires to Leonidas of Sparta press secretary subject line: "I want Nicks hinge").

Davo

Retro stylze on my refurbished '89 Nishiki Ariel. Tange frame and rigid fork with elevated stays, full original Deore DX groupo, Tioga T-Boner stem, front derailleur pulley fabricated from freshly minted English tuppenny coins. Toe clips and straps of course. Epic Retro Radness. Bike review coming soon.

Paddled slowly across river; spent 20mins getting into toe-clips; up gorge at medium weekend warrior pace; climbed badly; walked a bit; descended out of control; got to Rockgarden, locked toestraps down hard to ensure full commitment; RAMPAGED down all drops, dropping a few riders as I ping-ponged off the rocks; got to easy bit, went over bars, feet locked to pedals, feasted on Shit Sandwich; lay on face under bike, managed to reach toe straps to release the buckles; ambled up Staricase carrying farm gate; hooned Bigring Boulevard; climbed Dopers like old people have sex; epic calf cramps in river, straps locked tight, fell like chopped tree, for well needed bath; crossed line Sub-3 as fantasized about FTretroW. Marco calculates that every second he beat me by, cost him $250.

Mono's Sandbag Story

After a fairly shithouse race on Mt Vic last weekend I'd been looking forward to Karapoti - no illness or crashes in the week before the race was a good start. After faffing about too long I completely missed any kind of warmup or any such pro nonsense. Got away from the river crossing well and led the race up the road towards the dirt. Dropped my chain off the inside of the chainring (somehow?!) not far into the gorge, so had to get off and get it back into place - not a big deal in itself, but I lost touch with the front bunch, and had to smash myself over to catch back up. Caught a bunch of about 8 not far before the warmup climb, but the leaders were long gone. Felt meh on the warmup climb, and pretty average on Deadwood. Got my uphill steam on somewhere after the staircase though, and felt pretty strong. That lasted until about 1/3 of the way up Dopers. I temporarily HATED running a single ring on the 29er as Goldfinger slowly pulled away from me. Finished up 7th in 2:32. Was keen on digging into the 2:20 region. Next year.

Summing up my race: Satisfactory. Could try harder.

Private Wagger Reports For Duty

I had an average start after scoffing some last minute pies, maybe 20th out of the creek. I scooted up the warmup and Deadwood without any trouble. Traffic was a bit of a nuisance. The nice thing about a bad start is you get to pass people all day, especially in the old codgers yardarm-don't-start-till-near-lunch grade. Mmm lunch. I was so focused ripping down the Rock Garden that I didn't notice I'd passed another Bushie. Wasn't until the bottom when I paused for a cuppa, that I placed the Angry salute of "Oi Waghorn!" I'd heard amongst the rocks. I exited the staircase about 20 metres behind Angry and continued to get distant glimpses of those fine CHAMP calves all the way to the top of Dopers. I felt pretty good up Dopers, mostly middle chainring, no cramp. Then just over the top I had a good old roly poly romp with the bike. A little bit of me on top, a little bit of bike on top. When I came to a satisfied stop on the dead straight, wide but quite slippery clay wet patch, my front wheel looked like a porcupine wearing a hoola hoop. The spokes are supposed to stay attached to both the hub AND the rim. I twisted the loosies up and it still turned through the fork but there was no tension in any spokes except the one that holds my back end together: can you say ‘pucker’? I gingerly rode the Dopers descent and gorge with my front end flopping about more than Davo after 2 beers. Despite that I enjoyed the day and shared in the Bushlove glory, cheers guys!

National Champ - Angry Bushlove

Karapoti 2010 is a tough race and the injury count high. My Doctors had informed me if I monged myself or got any sort of graze around my knee area they would cancel my long awaited knee operation. I decided to go ahead and race.

I hoped for a dry day but it wasn’t too be, another wet ‘Poti was on the cards, so I lined up next to the other double olds in M2 and we took off down the gorge, three of us building a lead pretty early on, no surprises that was Trevor Woodward, Nick Warring and myself. Trevor is impressive how he scythes through the traffic from Senior men and M1, the track is littered with people grovelling up the climbs. On the first descent someone crashed right in front of me and I steamed off the side to avoid it and Trevor and Nick were gone.

I only know one line down Rockgarden so played it safe and had to walk with the rest of the trampers. No epic rampage was to be had until Waghorn steamed right down the middle. That oldie really has the skillz.

Onto Devils and I kept checking back for Waggers, as I had re-passed him just before. I thought Trevor and Nick were long gone until I spotted Nick Warring up ahead, so we chased each other back and forth till we hit Dopers and I had the lead. Nick caught me before the summit and I caught him again on the descent. It went like this all the way to the finish line. I was first into the last river crossing but took the lower line and was up to my waist, Nick took the sensible line and beat me by 6 seconds, however we both lost to Trevor who finished in 2:41, with myself and Nick in 2:45. All the same pretty stoked with that as its 15 mins off my race PB despite the weather and traffic. Also I lost my sunglasses on course, so to win a new pair for 3rd was nice form. Karapoti takes away, but also delivers.

On the Sunday I took my final ride for a while with my son Alex up at Makara, that’s me done for the year really. This is the National Champ signing off.

Alex Bushlove

I lined up for some epic freeride rampage in the Year 3/4 (Ages 7 & 8) category of the kidz race. I have a father who is a National Champ, in case you didn’t know, so I knew I would smash this field right open. The race briefing said it wasn’t a race and participation was what it was all about. I lulzed at this as my Dad always comes first, at least that’s what Mums says.
Anyway the race started and I smashed it up the road and was in the lead bunch of 5 riders! Quickly into the river crossing at the end of the gorge, back down the gorge again and into the farm areas where I steamed a 10 year old, and over the finish line for 4th in a sub 19mins which is where its at for the kidz race. Next year I plan to smash my National Champ Dad, who’s so hot right now, very handsome and not at all ghey.

SlackBoy (Bushlove's Trailbuilding, Track Riding, DH god)

After a traditional shite start across the river and having 60 odd punters in front of me, the shanks lit up and I went up the road. I decided to let the front bunch go (read couldn't make it up to the front bunch) and instead settled for weaving around puddles. At the top of the gorge I settled into a wee bunch with Johnny Click, Blue top Ben, Hiskey, Pedally Pedley, and 1 or 2 others. Hiskey told me to stick with this bunch which I promptly disregarded with large amounts of bad language as I hit warm up climb and 3 pedal strokes in got chainsuck on a new drivetrain. Win!!

Buckets of oil got me through to near the top of the Deadwood climb before it struck again, and even oil this time wasn't curing it. So rolling the dog it was. By this time (mainly ‘cos I was riding like a Crossling - read slow as feck) Anika and the Godfather got on my wheel. Anika snuck past for a while, til my testosterone kicked in and I belted away. Into the Rockgarden and was forced to dismount to get past another rider, which meant I had to stay off for a while and run. Unfortunately for me, the Freak caught me. Garth got his giggles, and whilst I was riding like shit and nanna’ing my tires down, he was going gangbusters and flying. Rich went past me at the bottom of the staircase and at this point I wasn't even thinking that a Sub-3 was on the cards.

Part way up, Ant and the Godfather caught me sinking me further into depression.
Slapped lube on at the top, and rolled the dog once more. Caught the Godfather smack bang on teh top of Big ring and powered past. Fully opened her up and let rip, caught Ant about halfway and edged past. Disappointed my fans at the Cloustonville turnoff by riding slow, but pulled in Kurt Lancaster on a dh stretch which I was happy about. Chain got a mint clean in the creeks and some more oil at the bottom of Dopers and I was golden. Ant was in view behind me at the bottom but I wasn't to be denied a good finish. Rode the bottom 3rd with Richard Anderson, who had been suffering mechanicals, till I was nearly passing out and let him go. Marcello came past far to quickly to not be on drugs or something. I sucked back a cheer pack, and then noticed Anika a corner back. Oh hell no! Got some form of legs back and kept that gap to the top, when upon me came the mist of pace.

Pinned to the bottom, rode the river and the dog was rolled, at times the 40:11 in the 29" wheels lacking as the pace was hot and high. Just past the top bridge and I rolled past Richard who had me all the way back at Devils. "Ahhh buggar" I heard as the calves of Doom crushed his soul. Mashed all the way to the end, barely able to see thru the grit and mud of the gorge. Smashed the river crossing and getting a 2:48. Not too unhappy with that as suffered with bad chainsuck and not feeling even 90%. But such is the Poti, and it's why we keep going back for more pain.

Tony The Tiger

Summarizing like my school teachers always have:

Tony tends to get distracted easily and veers off course often. He needs to apply himself more, which may help in achieving goals set by his peers. Somehow he scrapes through to accomplish an above average result. I fear this is off the back’s of others and will not last through any potential Pro/Elite future. My recommendation for him going forward is that he stays back a year in M1 until he has found some better direction. Best of luck for your future endeavours, Tony, you farking little pain in my side, I hope you fail at every gate. Regards Mrs B.Breaker.

The boring long winded version:

I came out of the river in third place, moving quickly up to first with Kyle Wood (2nd National Champs from the weekend before) drafting close by. As we entered the Gorge I upped the pace to see what Kyle's intentions were - to sit in and get pulled along for as long as possible it seemed! The On Yer Bike train of Josh & I, took turns steaming up the Gorge while Kyle sat in for the scenic cruise until we hit Warm Up climb. As the pain set in Kyle found the shanks that he had been reserving and put them into action, taking about 50m before the top of Warm Up. Not to fear as this was where my RAMPAGE ability would dominate. Laugh you may but I owned it as unlike the Nats, there were no large pines leaping onto the track. I was back in the lead for the briefest of moments before Kyle & Josh caught me up Deadwood. I caught Josh before the Staircase and romped up it, riding on for what I thought was a solid effort in 2nd place... only to have the cold shower turned on me by Gary Hall to put me back in 3rd! Turns out the M1 race started a little early leaving some riders to play catch up. Gary’s time was fast enough for 2nd but we never saw him. He must have floored it to get through all the traffic!

I arrived at the finish line to see my wonderfully pregnant wife still as one person. If you have not already heard, she was due to pop on Karapoti day, and is still currently one person.

Finishing time 2hr 37min. 22min faster than last year. No cramping. Turner was THE perfect bike for this race.


Goldfinger

I always wind people up by turning up at big important races and smashing past like a old, casual, hairy, torpedo.

I started well and got faster and faster. Wrote off the hopes of several Elite riders with my uphill rampage and dominated the downhills for good measure. I knocked out a few sets of press ups at the summits of most climbs, as I was not getting tired enough. At the top of Dopers I saw I had gapped epic uphill steamer Mono Sharpe, which was nice. I did some one arm pull ups in front of the marshals while breathing through my nose. Then I pulled 70kph wheelies down to the river, where I switched styles and lay on the saddle pedalling with my hands down the gorge, as the whole race was getting a bit easy for me and I needed to get a better workout. I did a jump over the last river crossing and rolled in a pleasing 6th place behind some of NZ’s best riders. 2hr31 and first hairy legged racer.