Return to Vegas

After the failed canyon bike jump by Stuntman Ed in the last round, it was time for Bushlove to make amends at the second round of the N-Duro summer series.

This round saw the much talked about debut of Toner Broner with his ginge Turner… sorry it’s not a ginge bike, I’m told it’s COPPER (yeah and I’m strawberry blonde!). Joining him would be Dave Mono Chops Sharpe and the Metrosexual Strawberry Blond (not Ricky, me). It was shaping up to be a good old proelite dance off.

Being a proelite racer means you must do all things proelite. This meant proelite pie eating in Levin (Tiger thought he’d shout everyone a pie, but ended up eating them all). Levin witnessed a proelite pie massacre on Friday night – and Davo wasn’t even involved! After such a proelite dinner, it was time for some proelite karaoke. I was unchallenged as I belted out Britney Spears and Rihanna as we rolled along the Desert Road. Don’t worry what you heard was not a cat being tortured, it was proelite karaoke at it’s finest.

Eventually we rolled into Rotorua, but did not arrive at our lovely accommodation (thanks Helen and Dean – many apply for the honour, but Bushlove only stays at five star accommodation like theirs) until Tiger had found a KFC. KFC was closed, so we went through the McD’s drive through where Tiger tucked into an upsized combo (but with diet Coke as he is an athlete of course). Our hosts Dean and Helen almost sent out the search party as it took us an hour from arriving in Rotorua to actually get to their house. But if Tiger wants fast food, we must obey his instructions.

Saturday was a busy day for Rotorua. The place didn’t just smell like rotten egg, Ragga Muffin was in town so it also stunk of weed. Without Reggae Ricky, we had to pass on that event and go for a mountain bike ride instead. All had a perfect day out on the trails as we sifted around.

Roll on Sunday: race day! Cabin had put up a solid course with plenty of hills in the first half and the addition of a secret little track: Doctors Orders (lots of drifty, rutty fun!).

We all got off to a good start with Mono leading the way. Towards the top of the course, I decided that I should go appliance shopping and picked up a fridge. It made for difficult riding as I rode round the course in a not-so-proelite fashion.

Tiger was racing his ginge Flux for the first time and was making a good job of it. It must have been his lucky race number 11. He was the second fastest female after getting passed by the winning women near the end. Unfortunately for Tiger, he did not take a wager on beating me - so while I got smoked, Tiger still owes me a bike clean

Meanwhile, Mono was cruising around in a leisurely fashion picking up a 7^th overall for his troubles. He also brought extra glory on Bushlove by wearing the singlet and stubbies combo onto the podium. Wannabe proelites should take note; this is the proper attire to wear on the podium.

Fastest Man was also in Vegas, but hid behind his smokescreen (Mariska) all day. No mad stunts for Mr Ed this weekend, but he will return and promises to land the first triple back flip on a mountain bike before this season is over.

The third and final N-Duro race is just around the corner. Valentines day will see Bushlove send up another team of lover boys to make out on the Rotorua single track. Stay tuned for a romantic Valentine’s Day special!