Training Ride Audit

Yesterday, in between tasks of busy work, I could not help noticing that the day was very nice and I should be riding. I heard that a couple of Good Roadies were heading round the bays so decided go and audit them.

I rocked up with my accountant's riding gear on and proceeded to carry out the audit.

Shaved legs. Check.
Powertap hubs. Check.
Frowns. Check.




The first few kms passed without incident or enjoyment. These men clearly seemed like Good Roadies. I checked another box on the audit sheet I had in the pocket on my neatly pleated grey suit slacks.

I made light conversation whilst trying to keep my slippery leather soled accountant shoes on the pedals, and discovered that whilst one Good Roadie was doing Taupo this year the other was not. The reason given was it was not something you would do unless you would annihilate the field and the clock.


Not riding for fun. Check.

Not wishing to embarrass the Good Roadies, or suffer the indignity of having my helmet peak blow off in the wind, I remained at the back into the headwinds on the Miramar peninsular. I noted the Good Roadies had smooth pedalling styles. Check.

My accountant clothing was becoming stuffy. I looked around to make sure no other accountants were watching, and undid my top button and sleeves.

I checked the box for appropriate hand signalling of road hazards. Good courtesy from the Good Roadies.

While placing the audit sheet back into my pocket, I noticed that the Good Roadie on the front had suddenly pulled up and moved right. I was just about to retrieve the sheet and put a red strike through the box for Bunch Etiquette and Safety, when Good Roadie Bennett touched wheels and rag-dolled into the tarmac. I hurriedly withdrew my hand from my pocket just in time to steam into him and fly over the bars. Fortunately I had my accounting shoes on and managed a vaguely controlled leap frog of the bars and mostly landed on my feet. Thanks be to the Gods of Debits and Credits that I wasn't wearing clip-ins which would have seen me also ploughing the field of tarmac with my face.

Good Roadie Bennett recovered himself quickly and we moved off the road. Check. His wheel was trashed but some enthusiastic smashing against the curb got it turning in the frame.





On my audit sheets there is a box for Other Comments and Recommendations.

I completed it thus:

The auditor notes that sitting up and veering right in order to vigorously pass wind, is not recommended if you are on the front of a line of Good Roadies and/or Administrators. Best practice for future rides would be to simply pass the wind in one's original position.