Shanksy can talk a good race.......

......but much like in the sack, he failed to deliver once more.

This has no real bearing on my own race, or report other than to simply rub it in.

Well what can be said. Bushlove defo looked the hottest at the moonride, but fell a fraction short of our own mighty and lofty expectations. With Kabush staying home, as his wife was planning to wax shapes into his hairy back, the Bushlove team was down 1 rider from the get go. We knew we had slow boy, sorry Token, but we'd figure we'd just have to carry him. Dr Nick can always be relyed upon to go ok, but he's forgotten how to use gears again, so on the flat moonride course....could, but can't go faster. So it was really going to fall to the mighty Tiger and Calves of Impending Doom to bring it off with our sheer pace and prettiness.

This failed

Upon arriving in the sulfuric P-infested town of Roto-vegas, my nostrils started to dribble. And then dribble faster. I had outright forgotten (as per normal) that I get a bit of hayfever when in vegas, but never fear for anti-histemines are here (after a trip to the pharmacy). Although I seemed to be going thru tissue's at a prodigous rate. Come the morning after ......pretty much no sleep at all it was time to dress in the lcyra, and new bushove lycra at that. After much self love, the team headed off, and set up camp. The plan was this, The most experienced would head of first, ok, that's me by about a decade. Ho, and I'm fast too. Sweet, sorted, tIger would be my tag partner and Dr Nick and Token would follow on from their spooning the night before. Maing, we so have this shit.

And come the start we did......well untill 5 meteres before the turn at the end of the first straight where I had been smashing it out in front. Then it all turned bad. My fufu valve went less than a minute in. Hoards screamed past me. Then clive did, ok I can handle that, then chickenman did, ooooooooh that hurt. and then even slower people did. My lungs hurt lots, my throat even more, someone had stolen the calves of Impending Doom and replaced them with fibreglass copies. Into the track and it improved, slightly........for a second.Felt like I was going backwards, and it only got worse. So after hte slowest first lap I've ever ever ever done, I handed straight off to Tiger. And sat down and hung my head in shame/complete exhaustion.
Ok so it appeared that it was a bit of hayfever, combined with the flu. Win!!!

Hopingthat I would get better when it warmed up some I didn't take the next lap and sat out. But when it became apparent that Angry was ahead of us....something had to be done. Tiger did 2 quickies, 1 more than he usaully does at home, and I stepped back into the ring. Luckily the big wheeler rolls mint on grass, so a nice sedatish run into the lap was on the cards.

This lasted to the first corner and the throttle opened up a tad. Was feeling ok, the nose sucked, it felt like I was swallowing razor blades, but the legs were feeling good, caught and passed Thomas the Tank Engine who was cramping. Sweet for clive, suck for Thomas. Kept the hammer on. Came thru on a good apce for the first lap, and kept going, I was in a zone. CArved my way thru the paddocks, with many cheers for Bushlove, till the jamis tents, when jeers about being behind Clive came thru. Cheers Shane. Caught clive, about halfway thru the lap, can't remember much other than pain in my throat, hardly being able to breathe, and the knowledge that I needed to put a gap into clive. I did. Handed over to ...token??, and pretty much collasped. Things were going better now, but I still felt like shit.

Did another double banger, but felt so bad afterwards, I crept into the back of the van for a sleep. I was wiped. Team Angel Michele came and covered me in a sleeping bag from our other Team Angel, Ash (of Bushlove fame and glory) *but lets not also forget Team Angel Dangerous Dan who was there pretty much as Eye Candy for Dr Nick and Token*
Luckily Michele had taken some body guarding courses and kept token from waking me up. Bad Token, Bad!!!!

After waking up just before dark I cooked me some cranksy's which warmed the cockles, and my stomach. and headed out for another Double banger. Yet again throwing down some good times despite that fact that I was scrapping the bottom of the barrel energy wise. And I must say, with our Monkey-lectric lights, looking far far cooler than everyone else, cept maybe that one dude with led's ALLLLLL over his bike.

I think somewhere in there Shanksy had gotten over his doom and gloom and actually went out on a few laps for us. But after a 2.5 hour, I can't be bothered DNF, he ended up fail for the weekend, even with the late effort.

Everyone pulled some good laps at the end, Tiger with a legend double banger leaving me with the honours of the last lap. Knowing how much time was left I was shocked at how early and how fast in the last lap I was passing some people. There was a lot of people that wouldnt of finished their laps for sure. But Jebus sure does love a trier.

So in the end not too bad, seeing as we had 2 people that can't use gears, a swine flu victim and a god. to pull us thru. Coach Lisa is obviously driving our Tones hard.
thanks to the Dark Lord, Bushlove, Burkes (for the love bus), Team Angels Michele, Ash and Dan, our hot hotpool bushlove fans (I'd go for paternity tests, there were several bushlovers in the pool at the same time), the NON jeerers from the Jamis tents, and all the awesome people that were happy to move outa the way during the race.